In April 2015, I spent over two weeks inside Bluebell Ward, part of an NHS "funny farm" in Reading. This was after a few days of over-work, with little sleep. It was the first such "rest-break" in my life, and I doubt that it will happen again. More information may appear here, or in the media, in due course. A letter to the NHS, requesting all medical records related to the stay, included these words of thanks... "Strange as it may seem, I enjoyed my time in Bluebell Ward, particularly chatting to particular patients, and to staff from overseas, including from places I had spent time in my long defence career. I found observing staff at work interesting, and they often matched my expectations from conversations with friends who worked in the NHS Mental Health field. I know that some doctors and staff in this field have their own problems, and the work can sometimes be stressfull - although not as much as experienced by an army paramedic in a war zone. My time in Bluebell Ward means that I may extend the scope of my NHSCare.info activity, to the benifit of patients and NHS staff working in the mental health field". It was many years ago that I saw an excellent professional from Fairmile at work, applying a simple test for Alzheimers on my late mother, and followed up with Aricept. Years later, I saw tests to investigate the after effects of stroke, on a friend. It would be good to see the same high standards of diagnosis and treatment throughout the NHS mental health system. Why did I over-work myself ? See the top of my AsOnTV page. You can decide if the two men in the cartoon are patients or staff :-)

1.2. Release of detailed NHS Bluebell Ward notes on 10th July 2015: the lovely surprise.

As I said earlier, I was prepared for difficulty in obtaining my medical records, but was delighted to receive detailed notes from Bluebell Ward, within a month of my written request, NHSFF1 (Click on the letter, to read the detail). I am indebted to Anne, the Medical Records Manager, who retired soon after sending me their thick file of paper notes. I was amazed at the detail and accuracy, giving me great confidence in Bluebell Ward record keeping. Even Anne's covering letter showed great professionalism, from "Dear Robin", to her signature at the end.

I speed-read the notes soon after they arrived, and we were back from our holiday in Sicily. I saw the detail, the vast majority of which agrees with my own reccolections, and paper notes. They also record, in a few places, where there seem to be understandable mistakes, in diagnosis.

I conceived the idea of writing the letter, and this "Bluebell" document, during my time in Bluebell Ward, interacting with patients and staff, and intently watching the staff at work. This included watching the shift manager, and what they did with their time: little of the "walk the walk", which is included in "management". But maybe this was done in the office, out of earshot of patients - and from what I saw, all staff did their job brilliantly. I would see the manager working at her screen, on what appeared to be "Public Relations" material - there is enough glossy literature in the NHS. But maybe it was patient records such as these.

After I had seen these NHS Bluebell Ward notes, I knew that I could spend just a few relaxed days, later in the year, writing up this "Bluebell" document. The alternative would have been kicking off the process familiar to me, of using my solicitor friends, and maybe the press, to extract the records, many months later. The result of Anne providing me the Notes, is that none of this is needed. Also, this report could be published before our 2015 Lovelock Christmas Newsletter :-)

The delays in extracting later documents, such as the few pages covering the four home one hour visits, and final two hour session in Maidenhead, on 30th September, simply highlight where NHS procedures need fixing. e.g. Records Managers in adjacent and collaborating trusts (Royal Berkshire Hospital, and Berkshire Healthcare), knowing where to obtain records. Maybe Anne needs to offer herself as a highly paid consultant, to advise senior NHS management on how to "fix the system" ? :-)

1.3 Security Aspects: 1971 Positive Vetting; National Security; Confidentiality; Privacy; Names used.

Having read some of that "History" below, some may think it is classified: it is not. By the time I had been Positively Vetted (PV'd) and was working in Holland, in 1971, security was "second nature". One never took a classified document home for work, and anything very highly classified was read in a special room with someone watching you. This discipline was maintained through my 14 years at EASAMS, until we started our family "Sunninghill Systems" business, based here, in Sunninghill. In the 1960s and 1970s, military technology like the Internet (ARPANet) and GPS were secret, in the same way that older military technology, like radar, or radio direction finding, were secret in WW2 days. I took care never to take on classified work, or even discuss details of such work. This GPSS.co.uk web site was soon up, after 1994, and I was using a combination of my pages, and email, to run my business.

I took care what I put up on my web pages, and only opened a detailed conversation with someone, when I know who they were. If they were relaxed about our email conversation being shared, with a CC to another, such as a contact on my "Links" pages (of over 10,000 people in 150 countries), then this gave me more confidence. When someone was happy for their contact details and use of my GPS Software to be public, then this gave me even greater confidence. A good example is my "Radio" and "Radio Direction Finding" pages, linked from my Home page, where that picture on the right has been since 2002. I can go into more detail for those that have a need to know, but it won't be classified :-)

I've used the same principles and discipline over the years, including NHSCare.info charity, Hobbies, Family information including the annual newsletter, and our Holiday page. e.g. Checkout this year's Video of our holiday in Sicily" soon after my discharge from Bluebell Ward. If you think I was crazy, just look at our crazy Sicilian friends ! :-)

Here, in this "Bluebell" document, I will use a cautious mixture of true and false names. Several people may share the same name. But all should recognise themselves, and those around them. Names were chosen so that the general public will not be able to identify those they should not. e.g. I'm sure those who were with me in Bluebell Ward will recognise many. Those in the NHS and my GP, will certainly recognise themselves or others, appearing in our exchanges of emails and letters - mostly related to the release of medical records. I can easily make changes, if asked by the individual concerned. e.g. Robin, June, Dick, Vollny, Dr Cosenza, Samantha, Chris, Dr Maniello, Dr Happy, Dr Mango, Vinny, Carol, Janet, Sham, Tinkerbelle, Richard, Samson, Stuart, etc, etc.

2. Robin's Character: Childhood; School; Career since 1965; Nothing 100% certain and writing notes.

This detail of my family upbringing and school days, followed by my career since the 1960s, is of importance to shrinks, and anyone studying my case in detail. It is the "mini autobiography" part, some of which may not have been known to my close family, until we started discussing this "Bluebell" document.

"Retired NATO scientist" is a label that I've been happy for the Press to use in recent years, since the first national newspaper, then BBC TV coverage, of Snoopy's first robot boat Atlantic attempt in 2012. However, for the majority of my working life, in defence systems, from 1971 until 1994, I have been lucky to manage guys to do the technical stuff. See the summary of my career at the end of this section. The shrinks among you will discover more about me in the few minutes reading this section, than in hours of verbal questioning, compressed into a sheet of written notes. Furthermore, anything said here can be quickly checked. June will confirm that people's perception of me as being an "eccentric scientist" goes back to my hobbies, such as electronics and making a telescope , in my school days, through to more recent hobbies, including GPS Geocaching, aerial videos, and Snoopy's robot boat. Only my workmates knew what I did at work - if I did anything :-)

I'm sure the thinking that I express here must be common to any scientifically trained professional, be they an engineer, medical doctor, chemist, or whatever. Nothing is 100% certain, even if some things may be 99.9% probable. By the time I was a University student, in the late 1960s, this was my approach to everything - and not just technical subjects. e.g. religion: after a little philosopy, I became an agnostic. i.e. I did not know if there was a God, but I was pretty confident that, if there was one, and you followed your concience, He would look down kindly. Then and now, I guess the chances of there being an omnipotent God, to be less than 1% - but I respect the belief of those, such as many Hindu, Jews, Christians, Shia and Sunni Muslims, who would put this as 100%, or Athiests who would say 0%.

This approach, of all decisions being "evidence based" can become very important on rare occasions. e.g. making a decision to do something, even if the risks are only estimated to be 10%, if the consequences of doing nothing might be very serious for oneself or loved ones. When dealing with uncertainties, I've often considered the possible alternative outcomes, and what action I should take under each circumstance. This would be familiar to anyone who has managed anything - particularly people.

To give you a feeling for how I think, when I say in this document, "certainly", I mean typically 99% sure. These percentages are obviously not calculated, but, in a similar way, "definitely" = 95%+, "probably" = 60%+, "possibly" = 30%-, etc, etc. I've never bothered to say this before, but when reading shrink's notes, I see everything seems 100% certain to some of them. But I must remind myself that, all those years ago, that lovely shrink from Fairmile, after doing the tests on my parents, said quietly on their doorstep, "I think they PROBABLY have Alzheimers". She was a true professional.

Similarly, keeping written notes, however untidy, was something drilled into me as a young apprentice, working in a laboratory for the first time, before University. My "engineering notebook" ensured I'd kept a record of anything important, that might need to be communicated to others later - rather than hope I would remember it accurately and reliably. This habit stayed with me through my whole life, whatever work I was doing, including charity work and hobbies. The vehicle was often a pocket diary, desk diary, or scrap of paper and pen in my top pocket. In recent years, this might be aided by a dictaphone, camera, or emails. Who doesn't keep notes of some form to aid their memory, and do their job properly ?

But the most important thing that I learned, at school, then early in my career, was the importance of people and personal relationships. It's an old saying, "It's not what you know, but who you know". Most people think of "the old school tie". Eton is still a passport into Westminster, but I have a sneaking suspicion that some Old Etonians are jealous of not having gone to St Crispin's Secondary Modern in Wokingham - with it's regime of corporal punishment. Some networks are much stronger than the school: like those who have sat in the same slit-trench, or many other forms of shared-suffering. Lord Carrington is an Old Etonian whom I admire, but it is his Sandhurst training then war record, followed by honourable political career that are relevant. Google up "wiki lord carrington": 6th Secretary General of NATO. I just love that quote about Maggie Thatcher :-)

Why have I always picked my nails ? What a strange subject to raise here, or is it ? I guess I'm aiming this, possibly contraversial piece, at Paleoanthropologists, Anthropologists, ancient historians, or even shrinks - working on the "frontiers of research". I understand that the commonly understood view, is that nail-picking, or nail-biting, is some form of mental disorder, that can start as early as 3 years old, and effects nearly 50% of children, by the time they are into their teens. Suppose it were simply a result of human evolution, after a few hundred thousand years of us not scraping around in the soil to find food - that would wear nails out, as does a rabbit's ? Perhaps it's some kind of "preening", like ducks do, to make sure they float ? In recent years (by "recent" I mean the past few thousand), I guess the women among us are a bit fussy how their hands look, and it's certainly been fashionable to have long nails. What have primitive civilisations done, regarding their nails, if they did not have suitable tools, like scissors, to manicure themselves ? Pick or bite them maybe ? :-)

Below is a summary of my life and career. Some pictures will expand if you click on them. Skip over it all if you wish - It's not a C.V., and I'm certainly not touting for work :-)

1947-1963: I was born in May 1947 and had a happy family life, with my younger sister Sally, brought up by our parents, Len and Eve Lovelock, and living near Wokingham. We were a working class family, with dad working in a factory.

Dad must also have been into psychotherapy: I still remember clearly how he cured my first nightmares. I may have only been 2 or 3 (I was not yet into keeping written notes). I woke up crying, and complaining of "Dreamers". My parents soon diagnosed these to be turkeys, rushing towards me in glorious technicolour. This was their revenge for my rattling their cage where my mum did some housework at the farm house opposite. He put a stick beside my bed and said something like, "If they come again, give them a good bashing with this stick". I still remember that next dream, although it seems I did not need the stick. I crouched agressively, ready for a fight, and they turned and ran away. I've never had what I would call a nightmare since.

Dad would give me a clip 'round the ear when it was needed, and the threat of that, is why I never took up smoking. See Video of our holiday in Sicily" , filmed soon after my discharge from Bluebell Ward. Now it is June who hits me: Matilda and June just LOVE the smell of Enrico's Tuscan cigars :-)

Few know that I started at Eton College very young in life: I can still remember sitting in front of the Black and White TV, watching the Queen's Coronation, with the chairs filled with our two families. We were the Lovelock's and I don't recall the name of the others. The Royals ?

My father drove a motor bike and sidecar - something which I've always been suggesting I get for June - so we can look as grand as George and Mildred. Being echo-friendly parents, Len and Eve kept chickens and pigs in their long back garden, along the Nine-Mile-Ride, near Finchamstead. Being an enterprising man, my dad had "done a deal" with someone who worked in the kitchen of Eton College. They would fill a large empty oil drum with the left-overs that the boys had left on their plates. Dad would drive the motor bike and sidecar to Eton College once a week, to bring back the scraps to boil up, then feed as swill to the pigs. I fondly remember trips on that motorbike and sidecar, including holidays, across Salisbury Plain. We still have the silver cuttlery that mum had found lost in the food scraps.

On the subject of the pigs, I was told that there was one fat old sow called "Dopey" and that, as a little child, I would ride around on Dopey's back. I also remember one day, when the young pigs were squealing in pain. A small group of men were holding them, in the crook of their left arm, and using a pair of pinchers or plyers, on their "nether regions". No wonder they were making such a lot of noise. I looked up at my dad, who was watching the men do their good work. I asked, "Dad, what are they doing to the pigs ?". Dad replied, "Don't worry Robin, they are just having their tonsils out".

I thought little of it at the time, aged maybe about 5 or 6. However, I did remember how those pigs were treated a few years later, when they said that I was going into Battle Hospital in Reading, to have my tonsils out.... Of course, the pain after the op. was in your throat, and they bribed you not to complain by giving you unlimited ammounts of ice cream.

I recall a brave young boy in the bed next to me, maybe a year or two younger than my 11 years. He was recovering from having one of his feet removed, after what I assume was a road traffic accident. It was the first time that I had seen gangrene, around the stump of his leg, and he was trying hard not to scream out, as the nurses tried to clean the wound. After they'd left, and he seemed in a conversational mood, we chatted, but I regret having said the wrong thing. He seemed depressed about going back to meet his school mates. Trying to be helpful I said something like, "It might make you very popular at school - like a wounded soldier". Then I asked the wrong question: "What's your favourite sport ?". This young lad responded in a very adult manner: looking me straight in the eye, and after pausing, he said quietly, "Football". After a few days of nasty injections, and lots of ice cream (I'd learnt to fake symptoms to get more), the pain in my throat had gone, and my parents arrived to collect me. I remember being strangely emotional, and tears streaming down my face when they arrived at my bedside. I had grown to love the people around me, including nurses, so much, that I did not want to leave.

Battle Hospital was very different then, from what it became, by the time that my mother spent time there. Rather than make it better, they do what the NHS do: bulldoze down the old building, and sell the land off. We have an Italian speaking friend who has an obsession with Gina Lollobrigida: Mine is with Miss Piggy - what a gal !

I was into "Art" from when I was a todler. It began with my father helping me sketch, on the back of old Ordnance Survey maps, laying on the floor. This love of Art continued through Primary School, past the 11+ (which I failed), into St Crispin's. In Wescott Rd Primary school, the teacher might chuck a bit of chalk at me, wrap my knuckles with a ruler, and on one occasion the head master, Mr Glurtis, gave me the cane for having an untidy exercise book.

In 1958 I started at St Crispin's, and "cruised along", never swatting, and sharing my love of Art with Gus, who followed that path in his own long career. The nearest I came to Art, in my own career, was drawing cartoons such as that of a workmate, dating from 1970, and in the Ferranti magazine. I got into video editing in the 1990s, with that Barossa Operation video which shows the military origins of my GPS Software. I suppose you might categorise my web pages or videos as being closer to "Art" than "Science" :-)

Coming back to education, I was lucky enough for my parents to select good schools for me to attend. After my first "Prep. School" being Wescott Road Primary, at Wokingham, they chose St Crispin's. This was a school that had already achieved tremendous publicity. They'd had good news coverage of the years imortalised by the movie "Grease". At St Crispins, the senior "teddy" boys (greased down hair, leather jackets, drain pipe trousers) did not race cars. They had other school traditions, such as using flick knives to carve their initials on the more junior boys arms. In 1958 and the early 1960s, St Crispins was very like the Secondary Modern school in the film "Kez".

At St Crispin's, there was an excellent punishment regime introduced by the Headmaster, Mr Eric Bancroft, a tough Yorkshireman. I experienced it first-hand. I was given "the slipper", on my backside, by Dossy Bevan, our form teacher, after I used chalk on the window, one April Fools day, to make it look as if it was broken. I also got the cane, deservedly, from Eric, after I, on the spur of the moment, delibrately tripped a younger boy, running in the playground.

Eric's "slipper procedure" was designed to avoid abuse, such as it being administered in anger. When Dossy saw what he may have thought was a broken window, he shouted at the class, "Who did that !". Eventually, I owned up: "Me Sir". He responded with apparent anger: "Go and fetch the slipper from Mr Bancroft". I still don't know if he knew it was just chalk on the window, but he would have known, by the time I got back, 5 or 10 minutes later. There was the long walk, from the Music Room, to the Headmaster's Office. I cannot remember if there was a queue, as in the film "Kez". Mr Bancroft (who knew every one of the 1000 pupils by name): "Why are you here Lovelock ?". "Because Mr Bevan sent me to collect the slipper" (note "Mr Bevan" and not "Dossy"). "Why is he giving you the slipper ?" - "Because I used chalk, to make it look as if the window was broken, because it is April's Fools Day, the 1st of April" (How appropriate that Dick and I collected Snoopy's robot boat from Brighton on the same day this year). I then did the long walk, along the glass corridoors, back to the Music Room. Dossy Bevan then told me to bend down, in front of the mixed class, and administered three hard wacks on my backside. He then gave me the slipper back, and I returned it to Eric. "Anything to say ?", I was asked. "No Sir", and I returned to the Music Room. What a well thought procedure this was, to use corporal punishment sensibly and with little risk of abuse. Mr Bevan will not have known what conversations transpired between Robin and Eric, and he had plenty of time to cool down.

I never received the "Ultimate Deterrent" - a public caning - usually for repeated truancy. That procedure, not described here, seemed to be good for the poor lad who got it: he took it "like a man", and everyone respected him for it. Eric may have been feared by some, but he was respected by all.

I don't regret having gone to St Crispin's. Dossy Bevan had a passion for literature and music. I would attend the group of boys, in the evening, learning how to play the harmonica - or mouth organ. In our English lessons Dossy would read us books like "The Snow Goose", set in Dunkirk days, or poems by Dylan Thomas. I enjoyed writing essays. These sometimes featured my art class mate Gus, also a fishing companion. Gus and I would enjoy extra time painting at lunchtimes, in Ray Livermore's class.

I have to admit here, to employing psychology on a teacher, to get myself out of trouble on at least one occasion: I was caught whispering in the back of the class by Mr "Drongo" Graves. I had to think quickly. "Lovelock! What are you sniggering about ?" - "Nothing Sir". .... "It can't be nothing. Stand up, and tell us all about it !". .... I stood up: "Must I sir ?" - "Yes! Go On! Let us all share the joke !". .... "Well Sir, it was a cartoon I saw in the Daily Mirror this morning, Sir. It was a scene of a vicar, baptising a baby in the font, with lots of water splashing about. The vicar was looking over his shoulder and talking to the congregation: 'Slippery little bugger, ain't he ?' ". .... As I had hoped, Drongo could not keep a straight face, squirming, until he burst into laughter. .... "OK Lovelock, sit down. I can hardly punish you now !" :-)
I'd gotton away with it, and employed a similar approach 20 years later, in Nigeria, when my colleages and I got into a tense situation with locals, that looked as if it was about to become a fight. It was only me who was armed - with an umbrella. I said nothing: it was all about making eye contact and facial expressions, including a well-timed wink. Don't rely on me for Personal Protection: I was never in that type of business.

I'm guessing it was in about 1962 that I started to swat, and took an interest in electronics. This was triggered by our Physics teacher, Mr Williams, using psychology on me. My grades in the end of term tests were always poor, in all subjects other than art. I remember doing a bit of swatting for the first time, including things like shadows, and what a penumbra was. When it was time to announce the results in the Physics Classroom, I was prepared for the usual humiliation. He addressed the whole class, giving the grade, for each pupil, one by one. Finally he came to me, and I expected the worse: "Lovelock ! What on earth were you thinking about, when you sat that Physics Paper ?". I mumbled something like, "Dunno Sir. Physics ?". He went on: "Well Lovelock, you didn't do too badly: 95% and top of class !". I was astonished, and that was a life-changing experience. I started to work hard on all subjects, and my main interests started to be science and engineering. It was at about that time that a fellow pupil (Peter Shurlock ??) got me started on things like crystal set radios. After a Science lesson, we would often go begging Mr Williams for some of his antique radio stuff. One lunchtime he pretended to be angry, and said "enough is enough !". He dragged out lots of cardboard boxes, full of electronics junk. He also pointed to a huge, antique, valve, radiogram. "That all has to go ! If you don't take it, I'll throw it away !". It did go, and I still remember that slow walk home, about 2 miles, pausing for breath every few yards. Sally will remember things like my crystal set with headphones, and the long wire aerial, stretching out of my bedroom window, up to the top of one of the trees in our Luckley Rd back garden. Also, my introduction to the military technology of radio jamming, when the short wave on my radiogram would interferre with my parent's newly aquired Black & White telly. They would shout "Robin!" when my scanning of the short wave band made the TV blink. Sally may also remember the shed, at the end of the garden, where I built the telescope, and my mates and I using her to test my newly contructed electric fence. Yes, I was into security systems early too.

1963-1965: I left St Crispin's school, to study electrical and mechanical engineering at High Wycombe Technical College. I learnt a little German, and made friends such as Fritz and two Iranians. This included two 6 month periods at RADYNE, including workshops and the laboratory - where I learnt to keep proper notes. Lord Carrington shook my hand and presented me with a book, as a leaving prize. 50 years later I was able to shake his hand again, when my wife and I met him in his garden. "Goodness me Robin, you have not changed a bit: still that mass of curly hair !" :-)

1966-1971: joined Ferranti the UK Defence Contractor, who paid for me to go to City University in London, leading to my B.Sc 2.1 in Electrical and Electronic Engineering. This was a "sandwich course", in which 50% of the time was spent at Ferranti. I went through Apprentice Training School, Workshop, Wiring Shop, Drawing Office, Laboratories, and Software Department. By graduation in 1969, I was not only trained as a "systems engineer", including both hardware and software - I had also gained even more important experience: interacting with working people like myself. It even included my introduction to Sales, including "wining and dining", after I introduced my tutor to the FM1600B that City Uni purchased. I came back into the rapidly expanding Software Division, and was one of the small team of 6 people, who did all the software for CAAIS, for the Royal Navy Type 21 Frigates. My job title was "Programmer/Analyst". I did all the LinkX data link software, and part of the radar tracking. This is where June and I met, and when we were married in 1971. Ferranti is where we met some of our best friends. That cartoon above is from when I was looking for the next job.

1971-1981: After 6 months of "Positive Vetting" for the required security clearance, we moved to Holland, and I worked for the NATO research establishment called SHAPE Technical Centre (STC, now called NC3A). My job title became "Senior Scientist" and my work included working closely with military officers, including American USAF returning from Vietnam. I decided to write demonstration software, used in our Laboratory, as a means of showing military officers our ideas, before we wrote these into our reports. I had the priveledge of managing the implementation of SHEWS - the SHAPE Early Warning System. This supplies SACEUR with information from the NATO Europe Air Defence Systems, from Northern Norway to Eastern Turkey. SHEWS was desribed by SACEUR General Rogers as "the best thing since sliced bread", and was presented at an international conference in The Hague, a few years later. It was in Holland that our first two daughters were born, starting with Samantha.

June and I remember the day of Samantha's birth, at home: 6th March 1974. Neither of us got much sleep that night, and I drove June and tiny Samantha, the few miles to Leiderdorp Hospital. June said she was fine, after an hour in the private room, where a nurse took this photo. I had time to drive directly into work, and get there just in time, to brief DSACEUR about SHEWS. This Brit, was deputy to SACEUR, and top of the UK Military. I was ready, just in time, before DSACEUR, and his entourage arrived. They sat down, just in front of me, sat next to my touch-interactive colour screen. My boss, John Unsworth, introduced me: "This is Robin Lovelock: sorry about Robin's disheveled appearance; he has only just got in, after being up all night, with his wife June, having their first baby". The first few minutes of my "briefing" consisted of smiling faces of top brass, thrust close to mine, asking questions like, "How is she and the baby ?", "what weight ?", "have you decided on a name yet ?". I remember responding with answers like, "6.5 pounds" and "Samantha", despite the fact that I had not made any written notes all that night :-)

It was at STC that I learnt, from the Americans and procedures, how to approach security. e.g. use secrecy when it is needed, such as the existence of Stealth Bombers, GPS, or the Internet (ARPANet). But make something unclassified if it makes sense to do so. e.g. principles of EMP Protection, so that electronics, or even mechanical things like a door lock, can withstand the effects of a high altitude nuclear burst. Click on that leaving certificate, or Samantha, to see bigger versions.

Without doubt, the craziest, yet most loved Division Chief we ever had at STC, was John Mannielo - or to give him his proper title - Sir John Mannielo. The Vatican eventually knighted him. John was an Italian migrant, and when he entered the States, he did not speak a word of English - or American. He earned cash as a "shoe shine boy", and that skill remained with him all his life. I fondly remember arriving for work in the mornings, walking down the corridoor, and being greeted by his "Good Morning Robin !", with him standing in his office doorway, polishing his shoes. John had become an American, and by the 1940s, was flying in the US Air Force, and supporting the Allies moving up through Italy. His air missions including "mail runs" *, but he always wondered why they involved flying across enemy lines. It seems there was a pattern in John's career: he had many important and distinguished jobs, but it seems he was always promoted sideways or upwards, as if those around him could not make better use of his skills. He told us how, when working for the US Defence Department, they wanted more information on the Russian Surface to Air Missiles (SAMs). John was always a "lateral thinker", so he thought, "why not ask the Soviets themselves ?". John went into the Russian Embassy, went up to the reception desk, and asked, "Could someone give me details about your Surface to Air Missiles ?". Then all hell broke loose, with alarms going off, and armed security guards rushing in. After that episode, John's boss took him to one side and said, "John: don't ever do that again".

* It's only now, years later, that I discover how much John "talked down" his war years. Those "Mail Runs" were probably his time in the 100th Bomb Group, before he was shot down. John is listed as spending time in the POW Camp Stalag Luft III. John was Member of the Goldfish Club. (survived ditching aircraft into the sea), Caterpillar Club, (parachuted), and Tonkin Bay Yacht Club (US Navy 7th Fleet during Vietnam War). It seems John Manniello was never one to brag about his war record.

By the late 1960s, John was Vice President of CBS (American TV). He was the guy who suggested to NASA that they beam live colour TV pictures back to Earth, during the 1969 Appollo landing. On John's office wall was that iconic photograph of the Moon landing, with a handwritten personal message and signature, from the Director of NASA: "John, without you, none of this would have been possible". His office wall was dominated by a large World map, with lots of pins stuck into it, showing where he had been - mostly Italy.

John's office wall also had a photograph of President Richard Nixon, with it's own personal message: "thanks for the binoculars, John". He had been Scientific Adviser to the President during that important Ping Pong Diplomacy visit in 1971. John had given them to the President when they were needed, aboard their US Navy ship. I lost count of the stories I heard about John Mannielo, both from within STC, and from TNO, the Dutch National Research Establishment next door. I was directly involved in one of them: it was shortly after the death of Italian Prime Minister Aldo Moro, who had been found dead in the back of a car. A few days earlier, Aldo Moro had been kidnapped, and John had a bright idea: it was to have three TV cameras on the top of every Italian police car. As soon as the alarm were raised, every police car would send 360 degree TV coverage to a control station - enabling rapid response to a national crisis such as this. John Maniello came into my office, shared with another John, who remembers all this: "Robin, I know you are a bit of an artist, with those poster-sized leaving cards. I asked the Drawing Office to draw something, to add to a letter I'm sending to my contacts in the Italian Government. They don't seem to understand what I want. Could you draw something ?".

After giving it due consideration, and discussing the implications with my office mate John, I drew a cartoon which I'm still trying to find, amongst all our old files at home here. It showed an Italian police car, with a cluster of TV cameras on the roof, and a huge crowd of onlookers gathered around, all with smiling faces. There was an inset picture of the scene inside a control centre, with a row of TV monitors, three of which had the crowd's smiling faces. Out of shot of the cameras, were the three occupants of the police car, that had been riddled with bullets: one hung out of the open passenger door, one hung out of the broken front window, across the bonnet, and one lay slumped over the wheel. After photo-copying, I delivered the original to John Maniello's in-tray, with a post-it sticker that said, "Is this what you wanted John ?". Not long after, he stormed into our office, and I thought he was about to "give me a rocket". Instead, he said something like, "Just what I wanted, if you could just make this minor change here". I don't recall what the minor change was, but maybe John's letter with my cartoon was why he got his Italian knighthood :-)

For some unknown reason, John Maniello did not serve the normal 3-year posting as our Division Chief. I understand that the US Department of Defence needed him back there, so he only served the 6-month "probationary period". Dennis Marquis, the guy who came after John, had a tough act to follow. He led a Division that was handling some of NATO's most important projects, including NADGE, ACCS, SatComms, and others I won't mention here. He also had to deal with crazy senior scientists, such as one who claimed that a boat or land vehicle could be "windmill powered" . It seems that this guy, took bets from his doubting scientist workmates, then built a working model one evening. He brought it into work the next day. He collected LOTS of beer money that day, but it was many years later until he built a working Windmill Powered Robot Boat. Dennis could not have done his job too badly, because later he became the Director of SHAPE Technical Centre.

1981 - 1994: We returned to the UK, with a young family, to where we live now, in Sunninghill. I joined EASAMS: Elliot Automation Space and Advanced Military Systems, based at Frimley, near Camberley.

I had approached EASAMS by sending my C.V. to a director further up the chain of GEC-Marconi, run by Lord Arnie Weinstock. I'd been advised to do this by Paul, an RAF AVM. My second job interview at EASAMS was with the board of Directors, and I must have said the right things about the company getting into the Command and Control business.

I started at EASAMS in 1981, with a few months of changing SHEWS into what became "EAMACS", intended as a "sales door-opener". This is where our MD, Howard Surtees, took the initative to sell EAMACS as a "product".

There was a Press Conference, and that's when I learnt how to handle the Press. I soon led a small Group, and we eventually won and supplied several EAMACS based systems - delivered on time, and within budget. But our main role, in my opinion, was to support marketing, and winning of much larger contracts.

By the time I left EASAMS, in 1994, the people around me had won major contracts such as the £100 million ADCIS, for the British Army, and £1 billion+ for the Government of Malaysia. Some of us played a key role in the winning of the supply of Tornados to Saudi Arabia - the Al-Yamamah arms deal - at £43 billion, still the UK's biggest arms contract to date.

It was at EASAMS where I learnt "how the World works", including the role of Swiss Bankers, and Industry taking the lead, rather than Government.

Why the prominence of that picture on the upper right ? It's the "Barossa Operation" Team. That's me on the right. Checkout the "Barossa Operation" video on my AsOnTV page. Our important activity was "swapping yarns" in places like pubs and hotels. The people that I mixed with made me the person I am now - particularly my warped sense of humour :-)

In the years at EASAMS, I got to visit exotic places like Lagos Nigeria, Egypt, Saudi Arabia, Belfast during "The Troubles", and the opportunity to demonstrate our PC-based kit to British Troops in the desert, at the start of the first Gulf War.

In 1981, in Nigeria, we were (allegedly) given a demonstration of a Taser, by an ex-SAS contractor, in his apartment, on the top floor of the EKO Hotel, Lagos. It's a small World, and this guy, along with one still serving in the British Army, knew the Old Leathern Bottle pub near Arbourfield, where I'd had my stag night 10 years earlier. In 1971, I'd been taken back, on the roof of my mate's mini, holding on grimly, with thumbs on front sill, and toes on rear window, to Duncairn, the old "Ferranti batchelers pad", where I sobered up for a few days, just in time for our wedding. I was tea-total for years, until weaned back onto lagers, at Heineken, near Zoeterwoude in Holland, where I played bridge.

That night in Lagos, I had so much whiskey that I remembered little, but my dear, recently departed boss, Dennis Harris, confirmed on numerous occasions after that, "Yes Robin, you were there, in that room". Our host - the ex-SAS guy - explained that he'd spent the last few months living in this top floor apartment: that it was boring, with nothing to do but sit out on the balcony, and watch bodies float in, onto the beach. Yesterday had been a bit different: a westerner had killed a local in a knife fight, so the police took him down to the beach and shot him. He explained that he sold riot gear, and had a new product called a taser. He said he could give a demonstration, and called room service, ordering a few more bottles of beer. Within a few minutes there was a knock at the door, and it may have been me who opened it. The young Nigerian stood in the doorway, and received the two darts in his chest. He collapsed, and we all thought he was dead - and we remembered how the "Nigerian Justice System" operated. Luckily, with a bit of encouragement, he came round, and we walked him up and down the corridor. We stuck a 10 Naira note in his top pocket, and he went away delighted. He probably could not remember what happened, but that was a good tip for providing room service. I met many Nigerians in Lagos, and just loved their sense of humour. I've often suggested to June that we go back there for a holiday, but she has never seemed that interested.

Loss of Innoscence on swearing and racialism: that cartoon from Lagos Days reminds me of when I first became aware of swearing and racialism. In both cases I had picked up words or expressions from young school chums, without understanding their significance. I distinctly recall when we were visiting my Gran and Grandad Lovelock, and I was on their doorstep, stamping on a swarm of ants. I kept shouting "Get back you b**st*rds !". My dad must have heard me, and came outside: "No language like that here !" - and I knew that I had been close to a clip around the ear. In a similar way, a few years later, I picked up an unpleasant way of saying "blaaack", and I don't think I realised it's racial significance. I do remember very clearly that morning in the canteen at City University, London, when us "freshers" were just starting to know each other. I had a book that was unusual in having white text on black pages. I recall saying something to the person beside me like, "Look at this: white text on blaaack pages". I then caught the eye of a black fellow student, a few places along the table, to my left. He was not "looking daggers", but simply looking at me with a blank expression that could have been curiosity or surprise. My face must have turned bright red, and I was most flustered, hurriedly saying things like, "of course, it's a perfectly good use of colour", etc, etc. Never have I been so embarassed in my life: before or since. I'm sure this was the same lovely chap, the only black guy in our class, who we all loved - including his self-depricating humour. I remember him going to the blackboard with a rubber, and coming back to his desk, with chalk on his face, shouting with glee "I is white !", making us all roar with laughter. Maybe he had a lot to put up with, in London during the 1950s and 60s, and this humour was his "defence mechanism". My close family know how "politically incorrect" I like to be, often asking with pretended innoscence, if it is OK to use the N word, or a host of other terms that are now considered unacceptable. I must admit being bemused by how words become unfashionable or beyond the pail over the years. I remember the days when jars of Robinson's jam had a golliwog logo. I don't mind insulting anyone, but being hurtful is something else. For my American friends reading this: by "rubber" I mean "eraser" :-)

In 2009, I had the pleasure of escorting a US Marine, a veteran of that first Gulf War, and then a "contractor", around the local landmarks, like Virginia Water Lake, the Runymede and Kennedy Memorials. He was in UK for a business meeting, and contacted me because he wanted to do a spot of Geocaching . That's me, writing in the log book of a traditional ammo box geocache we visited. I looked at his profile on Geocaching.com and was moved by the photo of him in Iraaq, in full combat gear, but surrounded by a bunch of smiling Iraaqi children. That photo has long since gone, but I understand that he got safely back to the USA. I easily recognised him, when I picked him up from his hotel near Heathrow, by the US Marine tattoos on his arms. We enjoyed each other's company for a few hours, swapping yarns during our walk around Virginia Water Lake, and in the pub after. I always thought of him as "The Quiet American". When searching google images for the most suitable picture, I chose this, on the left. When I checked the page it was from, it seems to be related to US Marine Dog Handlers in Afghanistan. That reminded me of an email I got from there, asking about Snoopy, in 2012. Sometimes "Winning Hearts and Minds" goes a lot deeper than handing out sweeties.

1994 - until now: traded as Sunninghill Systems, supplying GPS Software, for navigation and remote tracking, to military, police, business and consumers, in 150 countries. Already covered on the "History" page, but, in brief: released several million copies of GPSS (GPS Software) on PC magazine CD, and set up the GPSS.co.uk web site. The number of contacts expanded to over 10,000, still on the "Links" pages. Open "Family" information encouraged new contacts to be equally "up front" about themselves, rather than "talk up" the size of their business. Security was obviously important: an important principle was to check with whom you are speaking, before getting into a detailed conversation with them. Assume anything you type into your PC may get into the wrong hands, but reduce the risks as much as you can. Early contracts, relevant to this document, was the supply of my software, during the Northern Ireland "Troubles" to UKAEA, Ulster, West Midlands, Met, and Thames Valley Constabularies. Check out the Nick Knowle TV broadcast on the AsOnTV page. In recent years I have retired, but kept up the use of GPS as a hobby, and made use of my contact list of friends, when we go on Holiday. My wife June would say "recent years" means the last 10 or 15 :-)

I neglected to mention how important parrots were in my life, although it is only recently that I realise their significance. John Manniello had a stuffed one, amongst the memorabilia in his large office at STC. I recall his office having been re-arranged into a briefing room, for a visit by SACEUR. I was sat at the back, and John's briefing, was interrupted by a 'phone call.. something about his order for Peking Duck. I think it was SACEUR who whispered, "I thought the parrot said it". Another occasion was in 2012, on Holiday in Sicily, when June and I stayed at the Archimedes Hotel in Siracusa, where they had a live parrot in reception. Click on the parrot to play my video, uploaded in December 2013, of my conversation with my friend George Gourrier's parrot. My obituary to George is in our 2014 Xmas Newsletter. I think it was in 2013, when researching "NHS Patient Choice", that I got excellent advice from a PALS lady at Frimley Park Military Hospital. PALS, or Patient Advice & Liasson Service, are there to handle complaints. There was one person ahead of me in the queue. She dealt with the man sympathetically, and suggested that he take his complaint to the pet shop in Sunninghill, where he had purchased the parrot. It was only last night, when our family was watching Catherine Tait's Nan that I woke up to the importance of parrots in my life. "The first of two specials featuring the foul-mouthed pensioner. Nan's aggressive attitude gets her into trouble with the police". That quote is from the RadioTimes. Personally, I find Nan's language quite moderate, compared with one member of my family, after she's had one too many vodkas, and starts dancing on the table. Nan and I are soul mates, and was struck by how well everything in that program was researched. e.g. group therapy sessions being the only prescribed treatment, when the root cause such as booze or drugs is not touched. I love Warwick Davis' portayal of the Social Worker, who seems to have been attracted into this work by his small stature, and the trauma after realising he'd killed his pet parrot by accident. I'm sure our local vicar will be pleased to hear that I stumbled on George's card only yesterday - it reminded me to add this "Parrot" piece. That must have been a Fruedian slip, when I wrote "Tait" above - I must have been confusing her with that lovely Dr Tait who just left Lightwater Surgury. Googling Catherine Tate's Nan will give the correct details for this actress - a real "Christmas Cracker". Maybe she should do another special, as she did with "Am I bothered ?" Blair, but with our young David Cameron, in a Funny Farm ? I far prefer the search results from Googling Catherine Tate's Nan - even if unsuitable for most children, and immature adults.

3. 18th March until 1st April 2015 - Snoopy's robot boat - lots of fun but little sleep.

The "Snoopy" links that follow, risk you spending hours, enjoying the pictures and videos of Snoopy's heroic attempts to cross the Atlantic in a little 4 foot long robot boat. Snoopy's robot boat page includes the BBC TV News broadcast, from our first attempt in 2012, along with newspaper articles as far away as the USA and New Zealand. There have been one or two attempts every year since then, and this year's launch was on 18th March from near Bournmouth. Snoopy made slow but steady progress into the middle of the Channel, between Weymouth and France, watched closely by Robin's friends, in UK, Canada and USA. We were looking for close approaches to fishing boats, that have often caught these robot boats in their nets before. This involved a lot of (enjoyable) work by myself, answering emails, and updating the "blog" of events shared by those helping. To see the details, you can scroll through the "blog" of events, on the page Snoopy's March 2015 Atlantic Attempt. You will enjoy the 8 minute video linked from there :-)

After a few days, it was clear that the boat could not steer itself, and was simply drifting with wind and tidal current. This was when I emailed a few contacts, seeking publicity on the UK and French coasts, to see if the boat was damaged. e.g. if it still had a mast up with sails. It was also when I exploited the fact that Chris (Ginger) Evans, lives in Sunninghill, and Nick Knowles, of DIY SOS, filmed us before. See AsOnTV page, and that "Open Letter". Eventually the boat stopped reporting it's position, due to faults in the solar panels wiring. The strong winds blew towards the west-south-west for days, so we expected Snoopy to end up on the French, Belgium, or Dutch coast.

But just three days later, on 30th March, Snoopy turned up unharmed on Brighton beach ! This was after what was almost certainly a "sea rescue". Click on these pictures to see bigger versions.

On April 1st, April Fools Day, Dick and I went down to Brighton to collect the boat, and see what was in the IGotU GPS logger. We knew that the detailed track of positions every 12 minutes, from launch until the Nightclub, would tell us if this was an unbelievable fluke, or the result of "human intervention". i.e. a "rescue at sea" - which it turned out to be.

Who had done that "sea rescue", but not contacted us to claim credit ? My best guess then, and still now, is that it was the Royal Marines (RM) Special Boat Service (SBS) using it as a training mission, and with "traditional kit", such as only "paddle power" in a kayak or dingy. i.e. not even an outboard motor. Checkout the 2012 attempt on that Snoopy page ;-)

This trip to Brighton might have been 24 hours without sleep, since we spent time at the Coalition Nightclub - checkout the video - and, when we got back, Dick's car needed an AA call out ! During this period, prelonged lack of sleep meant that I was probably already showing the expected signs resulting from sleep deprivation, including what might be called "muddled thinking" or "manic behavour". e.g. lack of clarity of what was written on the web site and in emails. This was noticed two days later, on the Good Friday lunch at the Raj Vooj, with my "Last of the Summer Wine" team, and our wives. I could have stopped work then, and got plenty of sleep, since Snoopy was now safely home, and with very little work needed to prepare the boat for next year's attempt. However, the UK General Election was approaching... read on !

4. April 1st until 11th April - preparing NHSCare.info Election publicity - less sleep.

This was when I continued to "push myself", but for a different reason: the possability of using any Press interest resulting from initiatives a week earlier, to bring attention to my NHSCare.info Coughlan Campaign site, prior to the General Election.

Here are words from my AsOnTV page.... "This 'ASONTV' page of GPSS.co.uk lists TV broadcasts related to Robin's GPS Software. Robin has also appeared on TV a number of times, related to his charity web site www.NHSCare.info, set up in 2003 to provide advice on obtaining free NHS long term care. He appeared on BBCTV's "The Politics Show", BBC News 24, and Sky TV. However, Robin was rarely the "front man" in these broadcasts: others, far more eloquent, appeared in many more broadcasts, including Steve Squires, Derek Cole, Ian Perkins, Bleddyn Hancock, and Pam Coughlan herself. Robin simply maintained the NHSCare.info web site, and put journalists in contact with the right spokesperson. A long list of publicity achieved, including BBC "Panorama", Radio 4 "Today", and front page national newspaper articles, appears on "What the media reports...", linked from near the top of www.NHSCare.info. <- See the front page to see why publicity might have affected the 2015 Election result - if we'd got it ! Robin on the BBC Politics Show in 2007 is on youtube here".

I knew, from years of successful publicity, that it was a "game of roulette" on if the Press would "bite". But if they did respond, the information had to be immediately available in the form they could use. Considerable effort was spent in taking some fantastic quotes from Derek Cole, and adding them to the NHSCare.info site. This material, aimed specifically at the UK Election, is linked from the top of the NHSCare.info on the page Robin's pre-Election message. IF we had got Press interest, and they had read this page, then I'm still confident that it might have affected the Election - BUT, with hindsight, and clearer thinking, time would better have been spent, taking a few days "out" for sleep, then tidying up the front pages of GPSS.co.uk and NHSCare.info, followed by better use of emails and social media, to increase the chances of getting the Press to "bite" - as they have many times before.

Over the next week, I continued to work too hard, on uploading information (in a very disorganised way), onto my web pages. But the main thing driving me, was not only the need to have NHSCare.info information ready for journalists - it was my distraction by seeing who I thought was looking at my pages.

If you look at the very bottom of the Snoopy page, you will see how we can "watch who watches". You will see your own visit to the page, with an accurate time, and perhaps the nearest town. It may even say what computer and browser you are using. e.g. a PC, MAC, or smartphone. I was using the "Clustrmaps" facility, but back in April, I was using it crudely, and without the knowledge of it's limitations. Since then, my friends and relatives, around the UK and overseas, have helped me test the facility, and improve it.

More significantly, I forgot that my "pouring" new information onto my pages, would effect their search engine ranking, and therefore the pattern of visitors to the pages. For years, Googling for "gps software" would result in GPSS.co.uk appearing on the Google front page. It still does, and the same applies if you use Bing or Yahoo. If you click on that Clustrmaps map at the bottom of the GPSS.co.uk Home Page you will see the typical random pattern of visitors, spread around the World, who are interested in GPS software. In April this pattern changed radically, and a few coincidences meant that I started to jump to the wrong conclusions - or what MAY have been the wrong conclusions :-)

5. Sunday 12th April - Police 999 call ending in admission to Bluebell Ward.

Thames Valley Police officers attending, handled my case brilliantly. My audio, photographic, and video recordings show my 'phone calls to 999, Frimley Park Hospital, my old NATO workmate, Walter in Austria, overlapping with arrival of the attending police officer. They show my repeated use of words such as, "either I am deranged, or at risk of an IS-inspired attack", in what were often rambling 'phone calls. Any reasonable person would have concluded that I was deranged. Of course, there was always the possability of both being true :-)

At all times, all people including myself were calm, and there were occasional smiles. My video showed the investigating police officer handling the situation perfectly. He appeared to keep an open mind, and allowed me to show him my PC screen, showing the locations of those visiting my website. These included my old NATO workmate, still on the 'phone in Austria, and someone in Camberley - perhaps Frimley Park Hospital, who I called earlier, asking if the Police had contacted them, as they said they would, and giving them my GPSS.co.uk web site.

When I made the first 999 call, I put the chances of an IS-inspired Attack no more than 10%, but something so serious, that it could not be ignored. A few days earlier, I had carefully chosen a cartoon, that I hoped would not be offensive to the majority of Muslims, and added it to those about the "Charlie Hebdo" piece, on my Grumpy page, alongside those for other faiths. That's it here. Discussion of this "Police" section, with my good Muslim friends, led to the cartoon going back onto that Grumpy page: they would like it to be publicised as much as possible. Check that "Grumpy" page: Muslims DO have a sense of humour !" :-)

That night, my PC showed signs of being hacked into. My records say that the 999 call was handled perfectly. They promised to contact the military at Frimley Park Hospital, near Sandhurst, and she said they would call me back. Of course, by the time a few hours had passed, I'd forgotten that I'd mentioned that they could also send someone to do a mental assessment, in case I was deluded ! :-)

Several hours past, and a call to Frimley Park Hospital confirmed the Police had not contacted them. I spoke to the A&E Ward Sister, and gave her GPSS.co.uk - and the video shows a visit from Camberley soon after. It was then that I made the second 999 call, and was surprised that there was no record of my earlier call on their system. It seems that the procedure, if they get a call, that is probably from a "crazy", they don't log any details, and "Tell him what he wants to hear". That's when my guess of there being an attack rose to maybe 30%, because I thought the Police IT system had been compromised. Looking at those two cartoons now, what a coincidence that the first one includes a shrink, and the second relates to Good Friday, when my wife first thought that I had a problem.

My covert video reveals clearly my inability to give quick answers to simple questions such as "what's on your web site ?" or "what sort of attack ?". I've always suffered from "verbal diarea", since a child, but this must have been my worst example - and clear mental health symptoms. The Police Officer listened patiently when I rambled on about my police contracts in the mid 1990s, during the Northern Ireland "Troubles", for UKAEA, Ulster, West Midlands, Met, and Thames Valley Constabularies. At one point there was an incoming call claiming to be from Sri Lanka: he politely listened in, before a 1471 to check the dialing code. At the top right is a frame from the video, chosen so as not to identify him. There is a much nicer frame, of him and June smiling, that I'll happily use here with his permission :-) He and his police colleagues are very welcome to see what is a very boring video, and decide if any small clips can be made public - if there were ever a desire.

It soon became clear to me that, despite verbal assurances, telling me "what I wanted to hear" about temporary protection for Armitage Court, this was not going to happen. It was then that I politely explained that I was about to use my car to block the entrance to Armitage Court. I drove my car to near the estate entrance, positioning it across the road, but where I could quickly reverse into a drive, to allow residents in and out. After maybe 5 minutes, during which they will have spoken to my wife June, who will have confirmed I was deranged, they joined me in their police car.

I realised that, despite their assurances, they would not replace my car with theirs. By now, several hours after my concerns about the police 999 computer system having been compromised, I thought the risks of an attack being increasingly unlikely - dropping below 10%. However, under the circumstances, I decided to do what I considered "the right thing": I locked my car and threw the keys into the trees. It was then that they had no option but to arrest me, under the mental health act, and they gently ushered me into the rear seat of the police car, and hand-cuffed me. I could not resist a smile, at that point, since it was what Nick Knowles had experienced, back in 1996, when he co-starred with Carol Vordeman and Thames Valley police using my GPS Software, in the TV broadcast you can still play off my AsOnTV page - or click on that animated picture at top-left. The police officers and I made light-hearted conversation while we waited for an ambulance to arrive. This is when that "selfy", on the right, was taken. I remember pointing out that I was not wearing a seat-belt, and that the police driver might get into trouble :-) They also found my car keys, which made it more convenient for all concerned. The uncomfortable handcuffs were soon removed, since I clearly was not going to do a "runner". The ambulance eventually arrived, and we were on our way to Bluebell Ward at Prospect Park Hospital, Reading. I enjoyed chatting to the paramedic on the way, who had served in the Royal Marines. Checkout my Snoopy's robot boat page. Oh yes, that photo of the police car outside our house: that was taken nearly 20 years earlier - when Nick Knowles was arrested outside the Jade Fountain Chinese Restaurant in Sunninghill :-)

I emailed Jeff, of our local police NW, on 5th October, asking if anyone wanted the link to this document before it became public. Jeff arranged a visit here on 6th October by two police officers, and they were given the link in writing. The two officers saw this page on our TV screen, and one was the person who attended the "Thief on CCTV" incident reported in our 2014 family newsletter. No input is required from Thames Valley Police, but I will be receptive to any suggestions, including from the TVP Press Office.

6. Time in Bluebell Ward.

6.1 Admission to Bluebell Ward, new friends, and the "bottle of lucozade" story.

I made good use of my time in Bluebell Ward by growing a beard... but June insisted that I shave it off when I came home :-)

As I've said in my Introduction above, and publicly on my web site since June 2015, "Strange as it may seem, I enjoyed my time in Bluebell Ward, particularly chatting to particular patients, and to staff from overseas, including from places I had spent time in my long defence career....". I found new friends among staff and patients, and enjoyed their company. e.g. chatting to Romanians in Italian, or swapping yarns and jokes about Lagos with Nigerians. I received good advice, even though I did not always choose to follow it. e.g. "I tell them what they F'ing well want to hear !". That could have been a patient, talking about doctors, or was it a member of staff, speaking about patients ? :-)

On admission, it did not take more than a few minutes of their time, speaking to myself and my wife June, to confirm my symptoms, and that I'd been brought to the right place: Bluebell Ward at Prospect Park Hospital. They could quickly see what category of patient I was, including those admitted after overwork, adiction, self-harm, or depression - including recent death of wife or husband.

My new friends included all these, and over the coming days, I saw countless examples of patients helping one another: they certainly helped me. There was comradery and humour, not unlike that I would imagine occurred in "the trenches". We played pool, shared piza/cake/chocolate in the TV lounge, and chatted there and in the garden. I learnt a lot, about many things, from a Muslim patient who could lip read and sign. But I did teach her one sign that Michelle had taught me: it is a technical term in many professions, including Engineering and Medicine: "B***sh*t" :-)

Sometimes we were entertained by watching a fellow inmate escape, and count how many hours until this was noticed, and reported to the police. He returned safely the next day, after a pleasant stroll to the Oracle in Reading, a Kentucky Fried Chicken with his friends, then a train trip home :-)

I was immediately struck by differences in how Bluebell Ward operated, compared with any good NHS Hospital or Care Home, which would also include patients with poor mental health. e.g. with Alzheimers, after effects of stroke, or brain injury resulting from trauma. I realised months later, after the help of others, including my GP at Lightwater Surgery, how differently mental health units operate, compared with all "normal" UK NHS Hospitals. e.g. the basic need for Bluebell Ward to have access to a patient's medical file, normally held by their GP. When asked, they did not even know the name of my GP Surgury, and through my whole stay, it seems they never had access to my file.

They relied on my telling them answers to questions such, "are you diabetic ?", and "are you on any medications ?". This would not be done in a "normal" hospital, and certainly not relying on the words from a mental health patient. When I moved into my lovely private room ( much nicer than that in the EKO Hotel, Lagos ) I soon found an unopened bottle of "Lucozade Energy Original" - not to be advised to be drunk by a diabetic. I understand that this product is used in hospitals - but, under careful medical supervision, to see if the patient vomits, as part of a diagnostic test. There was paperwork with the Lucozade, indicating that it had been provided by a charity. I regularly asked staff if it was OK for me to drink the Lucozade, to see their response: it was always, "Are you diabetic ?" ... "No ?"... "That's OK then". It was not until September 30th, the day of my last meeting, with DrC, VH, and June, that I googled and found this Berkshire Healthcare Newsletter from March 2013. It is amazing how relevant it is, including the "THINKGLUCOSE" piece about diabetes, to this "bottle of lucozade" story.

I now understand that this lack of access to the patient's medical records, held by the GP Surgery, is probably widespread within NHS Mental Health Hospitals. It is just possible that it is a "tit for tat", because it seems that detailed medical records are not provided back to the Surgury. Even after my GP requested the records, supported by written authorisation from myself, they did not receive them. The GP should be in a better position to judge if medication, such as antii-phsychotic drugs, might have a harmful effect on the patient. This topic of medical records is given more detailed attention in my "Conclusions" section below.

6.2 First few days in Bluebell Ward, until I was forced to take medication.

I'm most grateful to Anne, who was Medical Records Manager, at the Medical Records Department of Prospect Park Hospital. She provided me with detailed NHS notes from Bluebell Ward, under a covering letter dated 10th July 2015. This was in response to my letter requesting all records dated 13th June. These 64 pages included 33 pages of detailed progress notes, and have been of great value in this "write up" of my time in Bluebell Ward. I was impressed by their detail, and the content matched what I expected.

At no time has my experience become a "dispute", unlike the cases on my NHSCare.info site - where detailed letters and names were made public, and appeared in newspapers and on TV. On 18th August, I received an automated email reply, to say that Anne had retired.

The cynical among you may say that this smooth release of detailed records may have been influenced by the fact that Anne was about to retire, or that someone had read the relevant old case letters on my NHSCare.info website and forseen the possible consequences. I prefer to think the reason is that this area has improved in recent years.

The detailed notes agree with my own recollection of my time in Bluebell Ward, and include many understandable mistakes, some of which my wife and I found amusing. e.g. that she goes to her "day job" to get away from me. We both remember my saying it as a joke, but maybe it is true after all :-)

The notes do not appear to include very much detail about medications, other than Olanzapine being prescribed. I can find no record of how many days from admission I was on no medication at all, why and when it was first administered forcibly, against my very public wishes, what was injected, and what effect it had on me.

My own recollections, checked with family and friends who visited me, is that for perhaps 2 or 3 days, I was on no medication at all. I was able to get plenty of sleep in the first 24 hours there, either at night in my room, or dozing on a soft chair in the TV room. June will confirm that this is a skill that I have developed over many years :-)

Remember that the main, if not the only reason, for my being in Bluebell Ward, were the consequences of my going for many days without proper sleep. The most important, if not the only, treatment I needed, was to sleep. I was soon feeling better, despite the fact that, at first, it was easier to get some sleep, fully dressed in the day, rather than at night in my room. This was because the Bluebell ward regime required that patients be checked every 60 minutes at night, to make sure they had not harmed themselves. But the number of rooms on the corridor, meant that there was seldom 10 minutes between each check, within earshot. The practical result was that a light sleeper like myself would get very little uninterrupted sleep, being woken by a staff member making checks along the corridoor, sometimes having to knock on a door, or even call out, "are you OK whatsername ?". I would have been happy for cameras to be watching us, but I'm sure there are reasons against this.

How about cameras with little curtains, that patients could draw across if they wished ? If sufficient patients were happy with being watched, the only obsticle is cost.

I remember things improved greatly by the second night, after I spoke to the lovely lads on the late shift, and they suggested that I leave my door ajar. I also noticed a big improvement, seldom being woken by checks on other patients. By then I had added the "Please do not knock" notice to my door, in both English and Italian - for the friendly Romanian staff. June's recollection from her daily visits, is that I was not yet getting enough sleep. I may have made the occasional mistake in calling out a "thank you" or "well done", on those few occasions that I was awake when the check was done, and they simply put their head around the open door, as I wanted. This may have led staff to believe that I was not getting sufficient sleep, although there seems no record of this in the NHS notes.

Just as I was starting to really enjoy my "enforced holiday" in Bluebell Ward, they asked me to take some pills. I explained that I would rather not, and that generally, I only took medication when really neccesary. e.g. paracetamol when I had a kidney stone. Sadly, my polite refusals were not accepted, so I did what I could to publicly resist. I stood on a chair in the TV room, making it difficult for them to reach me, shouting out loud things like, "I do not want medication: I am resisting non violently !". Eventually four or five staff wrestled me to the ground, and gave me the jab in my bum.

None of this seems to be mentioned in the notes, and I do not know what they injected. I decided that there was little point in refusing medication, since they would administer it anyway, by force. It was then that I started taking the Olanzapine pills voluntarily, queing to take them in the mornings and evenings, like all the other patients. I was pleased to discover that none of my thought processes seemed to be affected, and therefore I was able to continue with the same behaviour, including interacting with patients and staff, and making notes of anything that I thought might be significant.

My written notes, photographs, and emails, created while in Bluebell Ward, were intended for an eventual "write up" such as this. As I said at the time, "some will say that my admission to Bluebell Ward was deliberate". It was not :-)

6.3 Remainder of my stay in Bluebell Ward, on medication.

My recollection, and my notes, show no significant change in my thoughts or behaviour, during the rest of my stay in Bluebell Ward, on medication.

However, my family and friends who visited me have since said that I appeared to be "drugged up to the eyeballs". I probably slept more soundly at night, making me easier to monitor. But if I occasionaly called out "thank you", because they had done their check quietly, they needed to write something in their notes.

The important thing is that it did not seem to create any problems for me. e.g. the Olanzapine medication was probably not related to the painful kidney stone problem that I had soon after my stay, although the detailed NHS Bluebell Ward notes cast some doubt on my assumption here. Time will tell if there were any long term effects on my health - the risks easily being found in recent medical research papers.

June says that whenever she visited, I was asleep on a couch. What's different to when I am at home, after I've had a glass of wine, and there is only boring stuff on telly :-)

By 1st May, I was making visits home, and this is reflected in my desk diary.

I remember being shown the letter, dated 6th May, saying that I had been "de-sectioned", and that I was free to remain on Bluebell Ward, as a voluntary patient, or go home. My wife June says that she can't remember when she received the letter, or when the envelope was post marked. She believes it was some days after. This is probably of no consequence, because I was enjoying my stay, and planned to write up this "Bluebell" report, after a few months had elapsed. If June had known earlier, she may have chosen to keep me there for as long as possible anyway :-)

I continued to enjoy my "holiday" in Bluebell Ward, until my last night there, on 7th May.

7. Discharge from Bluebell Ward, home visits, final discharge.

Dates below need to be checked by others, against things like the detailed NHS Bluebell Ward notes, and notes made by people like close family, who attended practically all meetings, at home, Bluebell Ward, or Lightwater Surgery.

My last night in Bluebell Ward was 7th May, and I returned home the next day.

My friend Roy provided me transport, on 8th May, including to an appointment I had fixed with my new GP, at Lightwater Surgury. My old Surgery had been Magnolia House.

This change of Surgery, under "NHS Patient Choice", had been on my Grumpy page for some time. In short, it was because Magnolia House routinely makes referals to Wrexham Park Hospital, whereas Lightwater Surgery routinely makes referals to Frimley Park Military Hospital. The difference between these hospitals has been known for years: do not be confused by last year's takeover of Wrexham by Frimley, under "Frimley Health".

I soon saw the benifit, when I had pain from a suspected kidney stone, and had the expected professional handling at Lightwater and Frimley Park.

Over the following weeks, my new GP, and her colleagues, were able to discuss my "Bluebell" experience in detail, and in confidence. These were usually with members of my family, such as June or Saskia, present. They understood that, while I waited for release of patient records, our conversations, shared with many trusted friends, were not to be divulged to Berkshire Health. I did not want the risk of this information effecting their reports, that were expected to continue until August or September.

Lightwater Surgery helped me by making formal written requests, such as that to Dr Mannielo, but they received no response. This could simply be due to problems in procedure: even closely collaborating NHS units, like Berkshire Healthcare, and Royal Berkshire, seem to have problems in knowing how to get relevant patient records from one-another.

The "paper-trail" that followed, over the following months, shows huge confusion on what the duration Olanzapine should be prescribed, and by who. There may have been mistakes by individuals, but mistakes happen and the system should cope.

My family and I owe great thanks to Vollny, for his four home visits, each lasting an hour, over the following months. These were the first "in depth" conversations, since my admission to Bluebell Ward. I also knew that Vollney was a communication path into Berkshire Healthcare, to report my intentions, such as eventual publication of this "Bluebell" document. Vollney also supported my excuses to June, that I should not over-exert myself with housework, or mowing lawns ;-)

7.1 staying home, two weeks holiday in Sicily, and medications.

I was soon back to my old routine at home, but with no real pressure at all. The General Election was over, and so there was nothing left to pressure me. I tidied up my GPSS.co.uk and NHSCare.info pages, by moving confusing material onto other linked pages. Most of my time was spent in a relaxed fashion, with things such as spending time with my "Last of the summer wine" friends. e.g. acting as taxi-driver, having "Pub-Grub", with my drinking coke, while they drank real ale. I also caught up with many friends and relatives, being able to be completely open about things, including my being "taken away to the funny farm", and if I was taking the medications.

There would have been a "Discharge Meeting" in Bluebell Ward, before my leaving on 8th May, but the Maidenhead office of Berkshire Health did not have a Social Worker available: one had recently left. Therefore the meeting would have to wait, until June and I returned from our planned two week holiday in Sicily.

I visited Bluebell Ward and collected sufficient Olanzapine to cover the holiday and a few days after. We then had our lovely two weeks in Sicily, from Thursday 28th May, until we returned on Thursday 11th June. See our Holiday page. e.g. Checkout this year's Video of our holiday in Sicily". If you think I was crazy, just look at our crazy Italian friends ! :-)

While we were away, we learned that Jack, June's 97 year old dad, had fallen, at his home, and been taken to hospital. This obviously took priority for our time, including making sure he was treated in Frimley rather than Wrexham Park. Regular visits were made by June and myself, either to St Mark's at Maidenhead (looked excellent to me) or Frimley Park Hospital (also excellent).

Here's Jack Geocaching a few years ago, before we had pub grub. On the right is a picture from "Golf World" Magazine, when they did an article on the Sunningdale Artisan's Golf Club. There are many more pictures of Jack in our family Christmas Newsletters, linked off my Family Page. Jack is an old soldier, captured north of Dunkirk, before he did the Long March, then train jouney, to Stalag 8b POW Camp in Poland. Sid de Haan, the guy who set up SAGA, was with him during these years, including the adjacent bunk in Stalag 8b. The bible given Jack by the Germans at the POW camp is a treasured family heirloom - along with the artillery shell case and hand grenade. The hand grenade was used in recent years, in a prank I played on Michael: he was testing my new metal detector, and the grenade just happened to find itself buried in the lawn where he was looking for a coin, I'd said I'd planted. Michael had to change his trousers soon after. Jack told me many tales over the years. e.g. There was an exchange of prisoners, before the Normandy landings, and they were escorted by a German U-Boat, to neutral Swedish waters, then to Royal Navy escort. When Jack and his POW comrades arrived in Scotland, they were moved down to Aldershot, for a few weeks "recuperation and films to catch up on news". Next down to the south coast, to join those preparing for the Normany Landings. The guys who had just returned did not take kindly, and hoped for a little home leave. Some rioted and burnt the huts down. It was good to hear that the Army did not respond as they did in WW1, and have the men shot: instead these "trouble makers" were split up, and posted to different parts of the country, sometimes near their homes. I'm glad Jack survived the war, or June would never have been born. When the allied front was well east, towards Berlin, Jack was stationed at De Haan, the small coastal town near Ostende. They used German POWs to search for mines, that had not been properly marked, along the beach. Every now and again there would be an explosion, and one less POW to feed (I guess whoever wins a war, writes the history books). Jack was with the Army medics, and drove an ambulance. During our chats over the years, I recognised when there were other memories he'd rather keep tucked away, being too painful to recall. Jack has lighter "Royal" tales to tell, such as when Liz and Philip's place at Home Farm, the other side of Sunninghill, burnt down, due to a decorator leaving a blow lamp on. They then moved to Windlesham Moor, on our side of the village. The Fergussens lived just across the road from us - where they are now building a care home. Jack helped his mates with things like the Fergussons moving from Sunninghill to Dummer, and then the laying of carpets at their new home. Jack's "bricky" friend Harry Trip did work at Bagshot Park, now the residence of the royal couple in the pictures of Frimley Park Hospital. Jack confirms that only "Saving Private Ryan" gives a realistic impression of the reality of combat.

7.2 delayed discharge from Bluebell Ward meeting on 17th June.

The letter, ref NHSFF1 dated 13 June, was always intended as an "open letter", so that copies could be given to anyone - such as Vollney, Dr Maniello, and wards staff, when I visited Bluebell Ward on 17th June. "Openess" can sometimes avoid mistakes, such as letters being mislaid, or not being actioned.

This meeting was in Bluebell Ward, and I was happy that Dr Mannielo was delayed by other business. She made apologies to me for the delay, while I waited in the TV lounge, and chatted to both staff and patients that I knew. It was then that I gave a copy of my letter, to Chris. I explained that it was an "open letter" to all staff on the Ward, and it would be good if he could pass it to the ward manager, after reading it himself, and showing it to whoever he wished.

In the meeting, I met Vollny for the first time. I already knew Dr Mannielo and the junior doctor who had a hard time keeping notes on her laptop. All three were given copies of the same letter, so there could be no doubt on my wish to have medical records. Also, so there was no confusion on my having enjoyed my time on Bluebell Ward.

My recollection was that Dr Mannielo said that the Hospital Pharmacy reccomended the the Olanzapine be continued for 6 months. However, it was her judgement, that in my case, only a few more weeks were needed. I found no record about this in the notes, or later correspondence. At the next Home visit with Vollner, he said that his recollection was that Dr Mannielo had prescribed 6 months of the medication. This question of what period the Olanzapine should continue was never documented, and was a source of confusion - particularly between NHS Berkshire Healcare and my GP at Lightwater Surgery. The confusion continued, through to the final meeting on 30th September, when my wife June and I clearly remember Dr Cosenza saying that the normal dose was two years ! It will be interesting to see Vollny's notes from this meeting, when they eventually appear :-)

Vollney's Notes/Report from this meeting still not supplied by Berkshire Healthcare.

7.3 Home visits on 22 June, 6 July, 16 July.

Vollny gained my trust on his very first visit to our house. We first met briefly, at the delayed discharge meeting on 17th June with Dr Mannielo, and a junior doctor taking notes on her laptop. Vollny witnessed the brief discussion on topics such as my wish to have copies of all medical records. He was also given a copy of that NHSFF1 letter shown above. This letter included mention of the www.GPSS.co.uk and www.NHSCare.info web sites, should he or any colleagues have the time and oportunity to research my case This was not possible within the office, because many web sites are blocked for good reason - especially this, or they would waste hours browsing holiday or Snoopy pages :-)

This system of home visits gave me a very good opinion of the system that had been put in place by Berkshire Healthcare. They are obviously the means by which problems, in a wide variety of patients, are detected early, in case any change in medication or environment is needed. There will often be the opportunity to see the people with whom the patient is living, and their lifestyle. e.g. the numerous used syringes and empty vodka bottles, June leaves around our house :-)

The value of Vollny's home visits to me, was as a means of feeding back information to Berkshire Healthcare, via his written notes or verbal discussion with colleagues. We obviously started with answering "How are you feeling ?", and after my quick reply along the lines of "Great, ever since Bluebell Ward gave me the opportunity to catch up on sleep", I would let June give her opinion in more detail.

• Home visit on Monday 22nd June: We started in what was the usual way, so Vollny could quickly determine, from June and myself, the important thing: that all was OK with the patient. But this was an important visit for me, because I wanted to use Vollny as a major point of contact into NHS Berkshire Healthcare. I approached it as I had many times before, with the first home visit of a new GPSS Business Partner, including from far off places like the USA or Iran: I started with an "up front" summary of my career, including NATO, EASAMS, and Sunninghill Systems, our GPS Software business. With Vollny, we explained that in practical terms, I retired years ago - as it says on my GPSS.co.uk Home page. Now I spent my time with hobbys, like Snoopy's robot boat, a little NHSCare.info charity work, and mixing with other Grumpy Old Men, like my "Last of the Summer Wine" Team. This was to gain his trust, so he might "open up" in a similar way to me: he did. June had left us to get on with it, by then, so we could both talk "man to man", using language and covering topics he might not want to be witnessed. He had nothing sensitive to disclose. Vollny summarised his own upbringing and career, a German National, living in South Africa, returning to Germany, then coming to the UK to work in NHS Mental Health, for the obvious finacial reasons (as June and I had, when we lived in Holland during the 1970s). He explained that he was not a qualified shrink, so was not into psycho analysis or therapy. He was a Social Worker, doing "Care in the Community" in the NHS Mental Health field. He was a full time employee of Berkshire Healthcare, and not through an agency (this can be important). It was then that I mentioned my intention, conceived while in Bluebell Ward, to publish a report, sometime later in the year, after I had either received, or failed to receive, all my patient records. I had no idea then of how easy this process would be, and the eventual content and style, of this "Bluebell" document. Vollny seemed to share the same sense of humour, as many German friends I know. I tried not to "mention the war", but if I had, I feel he would have coped quite well :-)

  Vollney's Notes/Report from this meeting still not supplied by Berkshire Healthcare.

• Home visit on Monday 6th July: Volney arrived, but trust had been built in the first meeting, so we could go into depth, on any subject he or I suggested, after the preliminary "Are you OK ?" stage. June was usually present during all of our discussion, mostly as a "witness" for me. I need to check my detailed notes, and the recollection of June. I see mention of a letter from me ref NHSFF3 and an appointment with my, GP soon after at Lightwater Surgury.

  Vollney's Notes/Report from this meeting still not supplied by Berkshire Healthcare.

• 10th July: The Nice Surprise: Release of detailed Bluebell Ward Notes- a VERY significant event !

• Home visit on Thursday 16th July: My wife June took time off work to be at this meeting. There would have been the usual, short "How are you?" discussion at the start, with my confirming all was OK. My desk diary notes show that, when I raised the subject of supply of Olanzapine, Vollney said that a letter had been sent to the Lightwater Surgery, and that they would be supplying it, directly or via my local chemist in Sunninghill. I had already checked, weeks ago, that they had Olanzapine in stock, and they did. But they needed a doctor's prescription. I had raised this before my last night in Bluebell, since my local chemist was a more convenient place to collect medication, than travelling all the way to Reading. Vollney told me of the appointment, on 5th August, with himself and Dr Cosenza, at Nickolson House in Maidenhead. This was the meeting that they cancelled, sheduling the new one for 30th September. When Vollney returned to his office, in Nickolson's House, Maidenhead, he kindly rang me back, saying that he was posting a copy of the letter, they had sent to Dr Dafid, requesting that Lightwater Surgey provide the Olazaprene.

  By then I had time to go through the detailed notes from Bluebell Ward. Several "Grand Delusions" are mentioned in the notes, and some are very understandable mistakes. They had no way of visiting GPSS.co.uk and NHSCare.info, because any such site would be blocked from their office systems. One such "GD" was that, if we had obtained the interest of the Press, the Election material on www.nhscare.info might have affected the Election result. I still think it could have - follow the links for the evidence. Bluebell Ward Doctors certainly would not have time to discuss any of these "GD" with me, although I guess they could have delegated the task to a member of ward staff, allowing them a few minutes overtime, using his PC at home, or maybe a tablet in the garden. By the end of my stay, June had given me a tablet, with which to do emails. If someone had asked, I would have shown them relevant things on my pages, such as my appearing on TV a few times.

  June and I were able to discuss this subject in some depth, using our TV to show him where to go to find the relevant material. e.g. the numerous TV broadcasts on the AsOnTV page, and Derek's Cole's powerful words in Robin's Election Message. Of course, Vollney, or colleages, would not have had the time to go over this material, let alone discuss it with me, and update their paperwork sent out to my GP, and on my medical file. This handling of diagnosis may have an effect on treatment. e.g. prescribing an unsuitable drug for two years with dangerous side effects.

  Vollney's Notes/Report from this meeting still not supplied by Berkshire Healthcare.

• Saturday 18th July: arrival of my copy the letter, from Vollney. It was a "Discharge Summary", dated 7th July. I read the two page letter carefully, and nowhere did I see something that could be interpreted as a request for Lightwater Surgery to do anything about supply of Olanzapine. It was then that I wrote my letter NHSFF4 to my GP. The letter starts:
  QUOTE: Further to my letter of 6th July, in which I raised the subject of "6 months of Olanzapine ", it seems that Berkshire Healthcare believe that Lightwater Surgury will be providing this medication, or a prescription, so that I may pick it up from my local Sunninghill Chemist. Last Thursday 16th July, there was another one hour home visit by {Vollney} in which my wife and I raised two subjects: (a) medications (b) "Grandiose Delusions" (GD) and NHSCare.info. It was then that {Vollney} said a letter had been sent to your surgury requesting that you arrange medications. After {Vollney} returned to his office, he 'phoned to say that he was posting a copy to me of the 3 page letter, to Dr {Daffid}, dated 7th July, and headed "DISCHARGE SUMMARY". I received the letter this morning. Do you share {Vollney's} interpretation of the letter ? Before you prescribe Olanzapine, I'd appreciate it if you would read the attached note, given to Vollney. My wife and I then spent a few minutes, showing him relevant information on GPSS.co.uk and NHSCare.info. I'm sure this will be reflected in Volkers notes which I expect to receive in due course. Detailed notes from Bluebell Ward arrived here on 14th July, in response to my written request of 13th June. I'm sure that any reasonable person, after spending just a few minutes on my two sites, would conclude this was not a case of GD. Also, it should only take you a few minutes to research Olanzapine and "risk of death" applicable to my family history. I'm sure you will understand my caution in this matter, and I will be pleased to discuss it further. UNQUOTE. P.S. I thought this link would do better for Anglo-German relations than yet another piccy of ZYPREXA. Checkout the video "Dinner for One" or "Der 90. Geburtstag" (The 90th Birthday). I am assured by my German friend Anna that this hilarious English sketch has been a TV favourite with the Germans for many years and is shown every New Year's Evening. It starts with an introduction by a German presenter, followed by the original sketch in English.

  No response received to this letter received from anyone, including Berkshire Healthcare.

7.4 final discharge meeting in Maidenhead on 30th September with Dr Cosenza.

June and I went well prepared for this meeting, our first at Nicholson's House, Maidenhead, and also expected to be the last. We were prepared for the possible outcomes, including a reccomendation to continue "monitorimg", medication, or - as we hoped and happened - the end of the process. I'd invested a minute googling "Dr Cosenza" and quickly found her: an attractive Italian national, from the small town of Varese in northern Italy. This is the home town of Maria, one of our Italian teachers, and our friend for years.

The pleasant surprise for us was that this meeting lasted two hours, and mostly consisted of a proper mental assessment, the very first, since admission to Bluebell Ward, where any meeting with a Doctor consisted of a few minutes of "How are you feeling ?".

We arrived at reception, and were soon sat in the waiting area. Dr Cosenza soon appeared, and apologised that our meeting would be delayed a few minutes. We were happy with this, and I like to think that she was getting a "Pre-Brief" from Vollney.

Most of the meeting was the assessment, with Dr Cosenza using a "tick sheet", which appeared to tally with the two sides of A4, that was sent to my GP Lightwater Surgery, dated 30th September, with a copy to me. Much of the time was with June giving her opinion, which is how we always conduct such meetings, including those home visits by Vollney. Vollney and I were able to exchange smiles and "knowing glances", because he has known my "agenda", since his first home visit: to request all available health records, and write it up, in a document such as this "Bluebell" document. More importantly, Vollney had supported me, in conversations with June, that "Robin should take it easy, and not exert himself with tasks such as mowing the lawn" ;-)

June and I made sure that Dr Cosenza had no doubts about topics such as our need for all my patient records, including all Vollney's, and any of hers, including that of the meeting. We gave her a copy of a letter, that Vollney and others had already received.

Dr Cosenza said that, for a case such as mine, Olanzapine would normally be prescribed for two years ! However, in my case, she would not be reccomending that I be put back onto any medication. She did not seem to be aware of the well documented confusion on how long Olanzapine should have been continued, and who should supply it.

Dr Cosenza said that she would be concerned if any information about herself were made public, and that no such information about herself existed on the Net. I assured her that I was always very careful about divulging the names of individuals, without their consent, but that she was very easy to find on the Net.

My favourite shrink has always been Major Dr Sidney Freeman, from the 1970s TV series M*A*S*H , set in the Korean War - but obviously referring to Vietnam, still being fought, before the Americans eventually lost. Freeview Ch61 re-runs from 7pm show these old episodes, and I love the numerous well-researched cases that Sidney handles so professionally. e.g. Hawkeye's sneezing, traced back to when his best friend pushed him into the water. Doctors in Bluebell Ward may have a more comfortable life than Sidney, stuck in a war zone, but their work is far more difficult to do properly. Sidney was living in the same "muck and bullets" environment as his patients, and so did not have such a wide spectra of people to diagnose. Sidney also had the luxery of maybe 15 or 20 minutes to chat to the patient, instead of 5 or 10 minutes, before reaching a diagnoses :-)

Ho un consiglio per il Dottor Cosenza e Maria: vedere 'Benvenuti al Sud'. Questo piccolo villaggio è come la Sicilia. Sto facendo giochi psicologici con il Governo, DoH, o gli alti manager dell' NHS che non parlano italiano ? Io ? I think all four of us enjoyed the meeting, and it was conducted with true professionalism. June and I parted with an "Arrivederci !". Don't worry Dr Cosenza: all the above is an honest record of my recollection of the meeting, and I'm not trying to apply amateur psychology on you :-)

Vollney's Notes/Report from this meeting, and his Notes/Reports from all his earlier home visits, still not received from Berkshire Healthcare.

Dr Cosenza's Notes/Reports related to my case: is the single A4 "URGENT NOTIFICATION" to Lightwater Surgery, dated 30 September 2015, the only document ?

An email reply was sent to Terry Fibbalot, Patient Advice & Liaison Service, Berkshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust, on 13th October 2015. You may read a redacted version of the email here. A reminder email was sent to Terry on 13th November 2015, asking if Terry had received the earlier email. So far, no response has been received.

8. Conclusions.

I do not expect to spend significant time related to this subject, after publication of this "Blubell" document. This is like my support of NHSCare.info. - I rarely need to update the site - usually just a topical headline at the top. When people contact me, I put them in contact with the right people, including Law Firms. They often keep me informed, over the next year or two, and this helps with my advice to others.

The subject of NHSCare.info is far simpler than this "Bluebell" topic of NHS Mental Health. NHSCare.info deals with Use of the Law to get the NHS to pay for the Care Home. This "Bluebell" topic, of NHS mental health is a far more difficult subject, so my only contribution is making the details of my case available to those who may be able to "do good".

My feeling is that any improvement will happen "bottom up", from NHS staff, through lower and middle management. I don't think it can be done "top down" from Government - other than by funding in the right places.

If I publish important documents such as discharge letters, or communications between the NHS and my GP Surgery, I plan to do this with names redacted. If required at some future date, copies of the original document can be supplied to those with a "need to know". e.g. within NHS, DoH, Government, Opposition, Solicitors, or even selected members of the Press.

Anyone with doubts about my ability to do this legally, and for such documents to remain public for years, should visit the detailed case pages of www.NHSCare.info. Do not make the mistakes that have been made by several senior staff, including Chief Exective Officers of Hospitals or Councils.

These "Bluebell" pages do not document a dispute: in fact, further NHS mistakes or delays in release of important NHS case documents only helps the issues raised here to be made clearer.

Everyone makes mistakes, but hopefully, systems, procedures, and training can reduce their effect.

Perhaps I should make it clear that I am not 100% certain that my problem was only lack of sleep, and that my diagnosis and treatment were wrong. Some alternatives are:

• That I only needed to catch up on sleep, the diagnosis of Bipolar was mistaken, as was the need for Olanzapine.
  - perhaps my diagnosis and treatment were all that could be expected within such limited resources such as a few minutes of doctor's time.
• That the diagnosis was correct, but that Olanzapine was not needed, and may not be in my best health interests.
• That the diagnosis and treatment was "spot on", and that it did not matter if my Olanzapine lasted a few days or 2 years.
• That I've always had a disorder, all my working life (if not earlier), but it was only then that it was noticed by my wife. If I've always been a bit crazy, I don't want to change. I could say the same about some of my best friends :-)

There are other possabilities, and - if more people including professionals take an interest - I'll be interested in their opinions.

Here is a page that I stumbled upon recently, that deserves closer attention: NHS Choices: A guide to mental health services in England. e.g. "Mental health facts: At least one in four people experiences a diagnosable mental health problem in any one year, and one in six experiences this at any one time".

For the few Shrinks who may have read all this: It wasn't so painful, was it ? Like the pictures ? As Mary Poppins said: "A spoonful of sugar makes the medicine go down" :-)

8.1. Medications and Alzheimer's

There has been well documented confusion on the subject of medication, from entry to Bluebell Ward in April, until writing of this "Bluebell" document in October 2015, 6 months later. Here are a few points that come to mind:

• No NHS written record of when, what, and why, medication was administered forceibly, without my, or my family's consent, a few days after entering Bluebell Ward. I had been asked, after a night or two, if I wanted to take Olanzapine. I politely refused, and this eventually escalated to several members of staff holding me down, in my chosen public spot of the TV lounge, while they gave me an injection of an unknown substance. It was then that I realised there was no point in refusing medication: I would rather know what medication I was being given. The important thing is that there is no record of this in the detailed NHS Notes from Bluebell Ward.

• No NHS written record of important part of conversation of myself, with Dr Mannielo and Vollney, at the delayed Bluebell Discharge meeting on 17th June, after we returned from our 2 week holiday in Sicily. My recollection, and my paper notes, are that Dr Manniello said that the Pharacist (downstairs) had reccomended that the Olanzapine be contined for 6 months. (Note that Dr Cosenza, in the final discharge meeting of 30th September, said that 2 years was the normal period). Dr Mannielo said that, despite this reccomendation of 6 months, she was prescribing Olanzapine for "just a few more weeks".

• At the first (excellent) home visit by Vollney, on 22nd June, my wife June and I raised the subject of medication. Vollney explained that his understanding of Dr Mannielo's words were the reverse: Olanzapine was to continue for 6 months. He promised to look into this, back at his Maidenhead Office of Berkshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust. I heard nothing back.

• Vollney's Home visit on 16th July: My desk diary notes show that, when I raised the subject of supply of Olanzapine, Vollney said that a letter had been sent to the Lightwater Surgery, asking them to supply the Olanzapine. He posted me a copy when he returned to the office, and there are letters on the subject with Lightwater Surgery. It was soon clear that neither Berkshire Healthcare or Lightwater Surgery thought they had to supply Olanzapine, or even what the prescription was, and by whom. Dr Mannielo ? There has been no response to the letter, written to Dr Mannielo, from Lightwater Surgery, asking for all medical records.

• Eventually, the supply of Olanzapine ran out, long before the final meeting with Dr Cosenza and Vollney on 30th September.

More detail appears in the sections above. I won't speculate here on the reasons for this confusion and lack of NHS documentation on medication.

When did I last take Olanzapine ? I have been completely "open" about this subject with all my family, friends, and Lightwater Surgery. I have avoided being as forthright, in my meetings with NHS staff, starting with those with Dr Mannielo in Bluebell Ward. If I had, it might have influenced what they wrote in their notes and reports. e.g. "Robin is responding well to his medication, and it can now be discontinued".

Everyone knows that I have not been taking Olanzapine, since it's supply ran out, months ago. But did I stop taking it, shortly after my last night in Bluebell Ward ? Or maybe I stopped taking it while in Bluebell Ward, and I was just pretending to swallow the tablets ? :-)

If other patients are reading this, I am NOT reccomending that you stop taking your medication. However, you may decide to have your GP, family, and trusted friends, help you by "digging deeper" on what has been prescribed to you, and if there are any harmful side effects, specific to you.

The NHS Bluebell Ward records show my being "argumentative". Some family and friends may say this is in my nature, although I always try to "argue" in a friendly way, often with a smile on my face. Maybe it was what Socrates did, when he chatted with other grumpy old men (Plato's Republic). Just a matter of asking the right question. e.g. "Have you seen my medical file ?"; "Do you (even) know the name of my Surgery or GP ?"; "Do you know of any harmful effects of Olanzapine ?". Maybe some of my questions "struck a nerve" ?

When later NHS notes recorded me as being "less argumentative", that may be because I no longer needed to ask these questions: I knew that the doctor did not know the answers, from my earlier meeting ;-)

It only takes a minute, with free access to the Net, to see recent American medical papers, after tests of Olanzapine on patients with my genetic history (Alzheimers in both my late parents). e.g. google "Olanzapine increased risk of death" will find results of tests, including a placebo, that show alarming results. I am more concerned about the unknown(?) risks of Olanzapine triggering Alzheimers early, or some other side effect. e.g. that painful kidney stone problem.

ALZHEIMER'S: On my list of "things to do" before Christmas, is a proper test for Alzheimers, by a shrink, for myself and my wife. I'm confident, from my mother's case, many years ago, that - if it is detected early - further deteriation can be avoided, or slowed down dramatically. Dr Eastwood, that lovely shrink from Fairmile Funny Farm, diagnosed Alzheimers on 25th January 2001, when she visited my parents at home. She included one simple test, "How many words begining with S can you say in one minute ?" - both Len and Eve only managed 6 ! They passed all the other tests. She told me that both mum and dad probably had Alzheimers.

We then saw that mum's short term memory was very poor indeed. Any of us can do this test on each other, if we have a second hand on our watch. Mum's desk diary, and emails between my sister Sally and myself, show that it was Sally who discovered Aricept, searching "Alzheimers" on the Net, but not until the best part of 6 months later. Dr Helling at Wokingham Hospital, never used that same "how many words in a minute" test, but did collaborate with mum's GP, Dr Tait, to prescribe Aricept. I repeated the test on mum for years, at home then in the care home. My reccolection was that mum always only managed about 6 words. However, I see that mum's desk diary shows it often climbing to 10 or even 12, later in 2001, after she had been put onto Aricept.

This better "how many words" score continued for over a year, but mum's 2002 desk diary shows that her score dropped back to 6 or 7, after several weeks in Battle Hospital in Reading. Castle Ward was particularly bad, and maybe mum was not being given the Aricept. This was the only hospital ward where my sister and I were not permitted to check mum's file, to ensure that it clearly said what medications she was on. This had become routine procedure, whenever mum or dad needed a hospital admission. Mum got excellent care at Holyport Lodge Care Home, where she spent the last months of her life.

Aricept was very expensive in 2001, but is now dirt cheap, after the patent expired. Dr Tait "did a fiddle", so his Surgery did not have to pay for the Aricept: instead, my weekly routine was to pick up a week's supply, from Wokingham Hospital - so it came out of another budget ! My close friends and family humour me, by us all doing this test every few months. It only takes a few minutes, and so far, we all do well. e.g. 20 words or more. Some people would rather not know, and therefore avoid any such test. However, my advice is to do it, and get a proper test done if you can't do better than 15 words.

Footnote on 18th November 2015: Today's 0830 appointment with Dr Daffid, my GP at Lightwater Surgury, casts doubt on my words above. I passed his memory test with flying colours, but I was amazed at what he told me: Aricept had never really worked; no drug significantly slows the progress of Alzheimers: any effect is marginal; Alzheimers is NOT genetic: anyone may get it; there is no advantage to early diagnosis: just disadvantages, such as insurance implications. Dr Dafid also said that Aricept was not (generally?) available until 2005. However, an email from my sister, Sally, dated 3rd July 2001, says, "I spoke to Dr Helling at Fairmile again yesterday about Mum going on to medication such as Aricept or similar to combat further deterioration with dementia". More recent drugs, that claim to slow down, or even arrest Alzheimer's include Solanezomab. However, drug companies will be quick to promote new drugs that still have years before their patents run out. They will also be financially motivated to encourage everyone to believe that low cost drugs do not work. The interesting question for me is did Aricept ever work ? I am obviously communicating this to friends and family, to hear if their GP has the same opinion as Dr Dafid. I wonder what the opinion is of Shrinks, who might go on to prescribe medication ? :-)

What happened to Fairmile Hospital ? The NHS sold it off as expensive apartments. The new tenants kept the security fence, to keep others out, rather than them in :-)

8.2. Medical records and communication between GP Surgery and NHS Mental Health Units.

There seems to be a complete absence of important information exchange, between the GP Surgery, that hold any person's medical file, and Mental Health Units such as Prospect Park Hospital, where Bluebell Ward is located. This is unlike anywhere else in the NHS, and puts patients' lives and future health at risk. e.g. that "Glucozade Story" near the start.

I was alerted to this on first admission to Bluebell Ward, and this was confirmed as each day went by. Why did the doctors not have my medical records, or even know the name of my GP's surgery ? It was not until Vollney's first home visit, that my suspicions were strengthened: Bluebell Ward would not release my records (which I have now) to my GP. They claim reasons of "Patient Confidentiality". How many times have I seen this term misused in the past ! I had been told earlier that GP Surgeries do not release medical records to Mental Health Units, despite the fact that this is one of the first things that is done when a patient is admitted to any "normal" NHS Hospital. Some may think some kind of "tit for tat" is going on.

The email and paper trail of my case, makes this lack of communication clearer. e.g. failure of my Lightwater Surgury to obtain medical notes from Dr Maniello.

It seems there is even a problem with closely collaborating Health Units: e.g. Prospect Park Hospital, Maidenhead Office of Berkshire Healthcare, and Royal Berkshire Hospital, Reading. e.g. failure to obtain records, such as those still outstanding, or for people to even know who to contact to get them.

I've been told that some within the NHS will think I have a "bee in my bonnet" on this subject of release of medical records, and that individuals should be made accountable. This is not the case. I must make clear that I've no reason to believe failure to provide outstanding records is more than a result of organisation and procedures. Reminder emails were sent to NHS, relating to important outstanding documents requested: the NHS notes produced within Berkshire Healthcare NHS Foundation Trust by Vollny and Dr Cosenza. Reasonable time was given for supply of the notes, but they were not received before this document was published on 24th October. High-lighting (in red) is used where notes are still outstanding. If the notes are received at a later time, this document may be updated.

Maybe the reason for this dangerous fiasco, is the organisation structure within which these units sit. I failed to find the relevant NHS organisation chart, or "tree structure". Maybe the reporting chain of command meets far up the tree, such as Newbury (the old SHA or "Strategic Health Authority") or even further up still, within the Department of Health (DoH). Maybe Bluebell Ward is "bundled in" with institutions like Broadmoor, near Crowthorne: we can hear the siren test from here, every Monday morning :-)

My sympathy goes to those that work within units such as this, trying to do their job, in the best interests of the patients, but hampered by the procedures and tools at their disposal. Of course, people will make mistakes occasionally - but the "system" should cope with mistakes.

If anyone, inside or outside the NHS system, can tell me more, I'll be pleased to know. Perhaps they just need to spend a few minutes using google - but you will probably need to do that at home, because your PC in the office will not let you.

Why that cartoon above ? It illustrates the risk of relying on only verbal communication :-)

8.3. Facilities, Procedures, and Training

CCTV used sensibly, could be to great benifit to patients and staff. e.g. wide angle cameras in every room, and public areas, with a little curtain that can be pulled across, when patients want privacy. Cost need not be much: I've used a wifi camera, costing just £30, at Jack's place for years. He knows it's there, and what it's used for. It only needs a good proportion of patients to leave the curtain open, for a proportion of the time, to avoid that noisy process of checking patients are OK, by walking the corridoors, knocking on doors, etc. We are all getting used to being watched by cameras, in lots of places, like the supermarket, filling station, or street. Police will soon be using cameras, to keep a video record. In recent years, the police have had to get used to Joe Public filming them, to record incidents when the occasional "bad apple" commits a crime. A working Video camera, with the usual motion detection, would have caught our good friend Vinny, when he did a "runner" to entertain us. But maybe it wasn't that he simply fancied a KFC and a night with his mates - he was just "testing the system" ;-)

Many organisations, including Police and NHS, have a closed IT computer system, without the employees having the means of browsing the net, or visiting sites like GPSS.co.uk or NHSCare.info. This makes security sense, but a more important reason is to avoid employees wasting hours of work time, doing something other than work. Management should take a tip from the hire car companies: the staff booking out a car have access to their "closed" IT System - but they are also given a tablet, on which to do things like a check on the driver, based on the National Insurance number. Do not expect all external IT Systems suppliers to reccomend this approach: they have to earn a living too ! :-)

What sounded like the fire alarm went off, several times a day. Newbie patients like myself would look around for people walking to the obvious fire assembly point: our nice garden outside the pool room. The experienced amongst us soon explained that this was not a fire-drill, but an alarm for staff to get help. When the alarm went off, we would look along the corridoors, and would often see a member of staff trying to restain someone like Tinkerbell, bashing her head against a door. Another couple of staff would arrive quickly, and gently frog-march the patient to somewhere, where I assume they were injected with a sedative. I saw no evidence of straight jackets or padded cells, used or being needed. Sometimes the alarm would go off, but nothing could be seen happening on our ward. I think it was Chris, my favorite member of staff, who told me that the alarms had been wired so that they went off in the whole Prospect Park building, wherever the button was pushed. There was not one fire-drill during the time I was there, but the safety risk, should there ever be a fire, seem small, since there is just one ground floor. It occured to me then: why not invest in a low cost alarm system, perhaps using wireless communication and recorded claxon then speech, so that the alarm could be more "tailored", both in terms of where it sounded, and any spoken message. e.g. "Exercise Exercise Exercise, this is a Fire Drill, please walk to the Fire Assembly point, in the garden, through the Pool Room". Or, "Staff assistance needed near Bluebell Ward kitchen". Or even, "Staff assistance needed in Bluebell Ward TV area, because Robin is asking staff difficult questions" :-)

9. Contacting Robin Lovelock with feedback, questions, and suggested changes.

You will get my full contact details if you click on Contact or my visiting card on the right. My email address is robin@gpss.co.uk, or robin@nhscare.info, or gpss@compuserve.com. We are not ex-directory, and our 'phone is UK 01344 620775.

I welcome anyone contacting me, particularly patients and staff who I met in Bluebell Ward, or anyone who has worked, or currently works, within the NHS. All are welcome, including police, military, the general public, journalsts, and - of course - Shrinks ! :-)

If we do not already know each other, please include at least your full name, occupation, and a land line 'phone number. Please tell me your nearest town. Also the country, if you are not in the UK. Other information might be helpful, such as your reason for contacting me.

In over 20 years of using the Net, I like to get these things out of the way on first contact. Oh yes, if you are willing to tell me, your year of birth. Sorry ladies, but it's useful to know if I'm talking with a young teenager, or a Grumpy Old Man like myself :-)

I've used many overlapping "Networks" of relatives, workmates, and friends, to review these "Bluebell" pages. These Networks include: Close family, extended family, Neighbours, Snoopy Team, NHSCare.info, School chums, workmates at RADYNE, Ferranti, SHAPE, EASAMS, GPSS (10,000+), Military friends, including Royal Navy, RAF, USAF, British Army, US Marines, SAS, NHS, Social Services, Lawyers, Politicians, and Journalists.

The introduction explained that this document had a serious purpose: one of "damage limitation", to reduce doubt, among some at least, on how crazy I was - and still am. Maybe it can help society in some way, such as improvement in NHS Mental Health Organisation, Procedures, and Systems, or publicity of www.NHSCare.info. But maybe the main reason for my old friends, work-mates, and relatives reading it, is for amusement, and re-awakening memories from long ago, including their childhood.

This has been an enjoyable exercise, in contacting old friends, relatives, and workmates, some of which we had not spoken to for several years.

Anyone is capable of giving valuable feedback, even if only "Robin, you are CRAZY to make this public" :-)

10. Footnote. e.g. recent feedback that might result in updates.

No significant changes have been made since October 2015. Feedback is welcomed from all who have were given the link, or found, these "Bluebell" pages. This feedback can include anything you like. e.g. facts, dates, typos and spelling, presentation, or your opinion.

Woman dies in fire at Prospect Park Hospital... 1000 unexplained deaths...

"Woman dies in fire" : See 8.3. Conclusions above related to fire drills and the fire alam system. News of a woman in her 30s dead after a Prospect Park Hospital Fire late on Sunday 6th December 2015. I will watch any emerging news with interest, particularly if we knew the poor woman. I rang hospital and they confirmed I could still visit Bluebell Ward, and that the the deaf patient* to whom I taught that "B***Sh*t" sign language, was not listed as a patient. No need for me to put more news here, since I understand Bluebell Ward staff may now have been given the link to these "Bluebell" pages. My wife and I hope to visit the deaf patient's family at their home, or here soon, if we can make contact. We very much home they are well, as they seemed when were both in Bluebell Ward in April.

"1000 unexplained deaths in Southern NHS Trust mental health units" - The first BBC 6pm News Headline on Thursday 10th December. See BBC News article here. What a coincidence that this is just a few days after my seeing that visits were being made to these "Bluebell" pages, related to the link being given to my selected polititians, journalists, and others. Let's hope those coincidences continue, and it does some good :-) This is very much a "whistle blowing story", and I must stress, that these "Bluebell" pages are not to encourage this, even if some staff may wish to "blow the whistle. I'd rather that any resultant interest in Prospect Park Hospital, results in changes suggested above. But I do have a friend in the police, previously a senior NHS, who was: scroll to the end of www.NHSCare.info ;-)

AMRA Dog & Partridge Get-Together from 7pm on Thursday 17th December 2015 ...

Yesterday's AMRA Dog and Partridge get together was extremely useful and more than I'd hoped. More detail in due course, but as I said to June and Samantha, before we went: This was probably the most important event in my life in the past 25 years. Lots more to add, after this goes up, maybe late tomorrow. I may send an email out, in the next few days, to two people, leading to The Ascot Retirement Fair restarting, but with the Ascot Bandstand being completely free.

The following is extracted from an email sent out to trusted friends, early the next day ....

Telly: Robin's most trusted friend and workmate, having access to most, if not all hidden web sites, and paper files of information only held on paper. Telly may be described as Robin's "Devil's Advocate" on several topics, the most obvious one being related to religion and belief. If and when the discussion begins within our "church" network, this may narrow down to just the Vicar, Telly, and Robin. e.g. Robin detailing the continuous stream of "fortunate coincidences", that does not stop Robin being a ~1% agnostic, but would confirm to a believer, that God/Allah is "smiling down on them". Telly is an athiest, and also acts as Robin's most trusted amatuer shrink. e.g. "you have a fettish about coincidence". There would be a wider discussion group, within the church group, when discussing broader things, such as how publicity might "do some good", now that we have Adam and Claire's public support.

Sally (and Michael): experts with inside knowledge on the subject of NHSCare, caring for people with dementure, before and after diagnoses, working with Shrinks, dealing firmly but fairly with NHS, Social Services, and Contracted home care services. Years of experience of being an alcoholic, where every form of treatment failed. This includes being "sectioned" - but luckily, only to dry out in a Police Cell: not a "Funny Farm". Every treatment was tried, including pills to induce vomiting if any alcohol was touched. The cure was miraculous, and not something that could be easily repeated by others. Michael needed work, and nobody would employ someone with a history of alcoholism. They certainly would not employ someone with a history of mental health problems. But Sally managed to get him a job as a carer, without the Council knowing. It cured him overnight: his not touching a drop since. This was because he knew people were depending on him: his job was to go over in the morning and get them our of bed, washed, etc. He then did this job for years, seeing that profession from the inside. Their daughter has just started at University, to study law. When any of them visit our pages, they come up as "Northampton".

Cinars: the couple who regulary meet, at each other's homes or pubs, and enter into detailed discussion on enourmously important topics, such as means of countering sleep diprivation. One of them has an obsession with finding the very cheapest deal that can be had: with benifits such as finding the latest version of the £30 wifi webcams, so important in Jack's care, and for things like home security and wildlife watching. Another example is choosing a pub, meeting the minimum requirements of good ale, but being lower cost. Robin's approach is rather different: e.g. that AMRA get-together at the DaP, was for the whole evening, from 7pm until 11pm, with four chairs x 4 hour slots = 16 meals. It also allowed extra chairs to be added, and consumption of bar food. Robin knew immediately we met Grace, the proprietor, that she had read the short email, pointing her to the "Grumpy" page, sent to them in the early hours. When her manager started to question our putting leaflets on the table, exactly as at the Ascot Retirement Fairs, Robin was able to respond in a friendly way: "Sorry, but please have a word with Grace". When it came to settle up, the bill for 16 meals came to less than £50. It was Mat, the young lad who had been serving drinks, who settled the bill. I'd noticed that he'd remembered my choice of a pint of coke with no ice. I told him to add 10% as a service charge, but keep £5 for himself. He could also tell Grace why I had given it him. The other great value of the Cinars is their behaviour, like almost all our friends, not to visit links. e.g. when, just as Robin were leaving, our mutual friend Ron the Plumber, came up to Robin, he said he had heard the news through you. The good thing is that there was no concern on his face, as had been the case, with many of my friends and neighbours. Only visitors to Grumpy site on Thursday, checked at 11pm, were "Exiter" at 1827 (Pam) and "West Drayton->Ascot" at 1906.

Erny: the most valuable member of our NHSCare.info team, regularly monitoring the relevant pages, including the recent update to "Grumpy", with Samantha's profile being added near Adam's. Erny is our Care Home "Fly on the wall" and for many reasons, we should use a suitable image. He may suggest one, and we can easily change it, as Samantha has asked to change hers. She and June have read the text and no changes are needed. This was discussed in depth, when I visited him with Christmas cards, after places in Sunninghill High Street, Jack's, and the Printers of leaflets and business cards. That WAS much cheaper than changing ink cartridges. I think Erny's state now, compared with that before his massive stroke (bleed), a little way into Parkingson's seems little short of a miracle. I hope I don't mind my saying it here, but Telly knows of this in great depth, as do I: Our beloved boss Dennis Harris, passed away late this year. I noticed the symptoms in 1994, and assume he'd already been diagnosed. Our late friend Trevor Saunders, had a similar massive bleed, and his cunning face looks out at us from the bottom of the "Advice to Solicitors" on NHSCare.info

The last few days of "AMRA DaP" activity, are the first time June has been worried, since April, and the start of the "Bluebell Experience". Having researched Bipolar and sleep diprivation in April, I am relaxed about it. Check it out by googling things like "sleep diprivation" and "bipolar".

While I remember: the last few days have seen numerous "fortunate coincidences" involving Ginger. This year, he has been suffering from agrophobia, and the morning ritual is clearing up his mess. He refuses to use the dirt box. I'm up first, to get June a cup of tea, and smell the poo, find it, and flush it down the loo. It tends to be randomly placed, typically in the games room. Until very recently, Ginger was very famous in Sunninghill, appearing soon after birth, on our 1999 Christmas Newsletter. Yes, it is Fartalot. For some unkown reason, when registering him with the vet, she gave the name "Ginger". People may be forgiven for confusing him with Chris Evans, opposite our church. To see Fartalot, annoying me in 1999, click on Chris Evans' nose. Notice I had a moustache then - but this year I had a beard for a week or two ! Here we get to the interesting bit: there is a direct comparison to be made with Ginger and my late dad. Michael and Sally were in the front line of clearing up after him, when it was missed by carers or mum. I like to think of my dad Len, looking down an chuckling, as I started to wake up to the comparison. Where he made a mess, in recent days, was very useful and accurate, e.g. on my BMFA renewal card, near the front door. It is sat on our lounge cofee table for action, with a £5 cheque. It will go into another "crafted" Christmas Card and Newsletter, with a note that apologies for traces of poo, and a colour print of this part of the "Bluebell" pages. It seems that Ginger is now about 16, and nearing the end of his days. It sheds a different light on my repeated light hearted quips to Samantha, that he should be put down. I let Samantha feed him, but I clear up the mess. We therefore have different views on applying 'Nill by Mouth" to Ginger. See my Grumpy page.

I'm too tired to put much more here, but in the early hours of this morning, I've been doing some objective tests of that List of ideas for avoiding sleep diprivation. June has only been concerned recently, with my few days work preparing for the "AMRA" get-together. The last time she had any concern was those few days before my extra holiday in Bluebell Ward. June is in "catch up mode", as I was for the first one of two days in Bluebell Ward. These tests cost June maybe 30 minutes of her sleep. It is very similar to how those lovely guys on the late shift, changed their "knocking on doors" routine. I should not have called out "Thank you", when they may have woken me once. I should have pretended that I was asleep. Of course, I'm sure she could be given the same treatment as I - but I would not wish that upon her :-)

June and I had already started using the "sleep in different beds" approach: my creeping downstairs, if I was convinced I should do something on the PC, like this "AMRA Dog & Partridge" piece. I would then spend the rest of the night sleeping on the couch in the lounge, until it was time to take up her cup of tea, and listen to the weather forecast, followed by the BBC Radio 4 News headlines. Normally, I would not get out of bed until maybe 0650: prompted by my accurate body clock. Our normal routine, is for me to go downstairs, a when she gets up and goes into the bathroom. I switch on the PC, make the tea, and take her's up to her. This is usually timed so that she is in the shower, and I have the opportunity to pinch her bottom, or ask if she needs any help. Her normally response is a polite "No Thank you", and she attempts to splash water on me. I drink my tea, and might remain in bed, listening to the detail, in the Today Programme. I might force myself to remain in bed, for a while, to plan the activities for the day :-)

Now those tests, starting with counting backwards, suggested by Telly: I counted from 100,99, downward, but I could not get below maybe 30 or so, befor I "popped out" into that "Day-dreaming at night" mode. It was just a matter of looking at the digital clock before the test started, then again when I woke up. Or June woke me, if 10 minutes had elapsed, and she had not gone off to sleep.

On that excellent idea of reading a good book (or a boring one?). This is a well known remedy, and it will be easy to find a cartoon, of a couple, with one reading, and the other being kept awake. I thought we might try our TV, instead of her kindle. June says - no problem - because her kindle has a low brightness screen. Our first TV tests showed that our TV was not capable of having it's brightness turned down enough, for it not to keep june awake. I may repeat the test, with a suitable smokey filter. Also convenient if done soon after we both turn in.

It had occured to me that our digital telly, at the side of the bed, could be used for the same purpose, and would not require using one's finger. Software could be used to rotate the picture clockwise, 90 degrees, do the TV picture is the right way up, when viewed by either one of us. It could show a variety of things, all with the sound muted. e.g. slowly scrolling book text, with no pictures, where you could adjust the speed. e.g. playing a selected old movie that you either find interesting, or boring - according to what works. Selection of ITV-Player, or BBC-IPlayer programs, including dramas you find boring or interesting - whatever works. Men could even select their prefered free soft porn channel. I joke about this, but a recent AOL mail news piece dealt with this positively. Any excuse, I guess :-)

Here is that list we discussed, from a recent email:

List of ideas for avoiding sleep diprivation, in order of least acceptable:
1) Don't do work at night - probably the easiest, right now, but I need to be prepared. e.g. sudden press interest in a particular topic.
2) Sleep in different beds (only Terry and John suggest) - yes, best idea so far, me sleep downstairs if I do need to work as I have.
3) Non prescription drugs ( kalms / Nytol / ZzzQuil ) Fay no opinion, not tried. Terry and I against (for me, only if others fail)
4) Cheaper drugs off ebay to save money, proposed by Richard. Not sure if was a joke, but a definite NO from me
5) Make wife deaf - a great idea. e.g. ear muffs. could be used downstairs, so TV is at normal volume
6) Tittyness - I've not had it for some time, and June only briefly a few months ago. Headphones with music. June says spelling is correct
7) Try reading a book you enjoy. June says we could use the kindle, so no need to disturb the other with a reading light.
8) Camomile tea. Sounds worth a try. Already suggested by good Muslim friend Shamsul Bahri and on Grumpy page under "Charlie Hebdot".
9) No alcohol late from Fay (says drousy early but then wakes you up). Surprising and a later resort ? Will stick with whisky-Mac after 2100 for now.
10) Hot chocolate and a bath from Terry. ( either or both, or Horlicks ) - a good early resort.
11) Change mattress from Fay. Good point: June says her side is OK. Don't think that's my problem.
12) Fix Impingement in my right shoulder - awaiting results. That does not help, but not the problem, I think.
13) have a suitable kiss and cuddle, but not smoke a cigarette after - they are bad for your health.
14) Using a suitable digital TV, with the sound muted. Depending on choice of material, could be combined with 13 above
Time to prepare June's tea, and confirm she slept well, after I came downstairs.
Enjoy !
Robin
www.gpss.co.uk and www.nhscare.info and www.gpss.co.uk/grumpy.htm (see bottom of each)
0640 Friday 18th December.

Today's response to people like the Cinars asking anying: "have you seen the AMRA pictures near bottom of Bluebell pages ?" ... "Did you hit the refresh key ?" :-)

Directly similar to my response, since 1995, to an incoming 'phone call, asking about GPSS. Directly similar to an incoming call from a journalist. It saves both them and me one hell of a lot of time. That's the only way June and I achieved what we did, and those old emails, going back to 1995, are really paying dividends, including on the social front. e.g. when Klaus, my old friend in Germany, contacted me about his wife and he, coming into Southampton on a cruise ship in 2016. Simply see "Robin thanks his friends ..." on the Snoopy page :-)

Where can I quickly get copies of Adam's book, "the forgotten" ? ...

Click on the pictures to make them bigger. I'd like to get a few copies of that book, given me by Adam Afriyie, my MP, so that I can distribute copies, as a little Christmas present. e.g. when my wife and I visit Bluebell Ward soon. I did a quick search, using the informatioon you see on the right, including ISBN, but did not find it anywhere, including Amazon. I spent a few minutes searching that link www.policyexchange.org.uk , but did not find it. Perhaps someone can find a source of copies, here or elsewhere ? Don't worry - I'm NOT looking for free copies from Conservative Central Office, or discounts. I'm very happy to pay the £10 plus P&P :-) But many of us, particularly Adam, are always busy, so someone else out there may have the time to spend a few minutes searching on their PC, then send me an email - see my Contact page. If you wish, you can 'phone me. If it's an email, I can put up the details here, so others can buy their copies. If you would like credit, just say what you would like me to put here. e.g. "Dick Inky, living near Ascot, found this source: Mr Chen in Hong Kong - £1 each, but may take 3 months to arrive". :-)

Strange as it may seem, most of my time now is on other charitable areas, both overseas, and very much closer to home. Please see my Grumpy page, aimed at the Press, in UK and overseas. It covers many topics, including Muslim "Public Relations", Global Warming, refugees, religion, and war. Things usually appear on "Grumpy", before they appear in the media. e.g. that Nazi salute :-)

Don't forget to visit our 2015 Lovelock Family Christmas Newsletter. Both that and "Grumpy", link to these "Bluebell" pages. You will get some perspective on what effect my stay in Bluebell Ward had - all positive :-)

10.1. Who knows NHS Management Tree ?

Does anyone know the "NHS Management Tree" / "NHS Command Structure" ? i.e. Who the Chief Executive of a health unit reports to, and who they report to, and so on, until you reach the Prime Minister ? This is relevant to section "8.2. Medical records and communication..." in the Conclusions above. Please make email contact with me on my robin@nhscare.info or robin@gpss.co.uk if you think you know the answer.

It is easy to google things like "NHS Organisation" but I've not found the actual management tree, and where the reporting chain meets. One might have expected all NHS units that were geographically close, to meet a short distance up the chain. e.g. for the Royal Berkshire Hospital at Reading, and Prospect Park (Mental Health) Hospital in Reading, to both report to the same NHS office at Newbury. This was once called a "Strategic Health Authority (SHA)", but was re-named "Care Commissioning Group (CCG)", even though the same people, computer systems, and offices seem to do the same thing. I suspect that the NHS Mental Health Units and "Normal" NHS Hospitals, meet much further up the chain of command. Maybe within the Department of Health, or possibly in the Cabinet, at the Secretary of State for Health. Even this is subject to change, if it is politically expedient to split responsabilty.

I'll update the Conclusions and update or remove this section 10.1 when I know the answer. I suggest we zero in to one small area relevant to my case: Prospect Park Hospital, Reading; Royal Berkshire Hospital, Reading; Berkshire Healthcare, Maidenhead; Frimley Park Hospital, Frimley; Pineridge Healthcare, Frimley. I'm looking for the management tree where these units eventually meet.

Footnote added in February 2016 ...

I see no need to change any of those "Bluebell" pages above, written in late 2015. They seem to have served their purpose well :-)

The pages above can remain, "warts and all" complete with spelling mistakes and rambling content that Shrinks may attribute to mania.

I hope my pages may serve as "raw material" to do some good, as they may already have. It is of course, a coincidence, that the BBC ran a special "Season on Mental Illness" in February 2016. If I thought otherwise, shrinks would say that was yet another "Grandiose Illusion". These pages are certainly of importance to my case, and I hope others may find them of use. e.g. Those working within the NHS, including nurses, managers, Shrinks, student shrinks, Journalists, and the general public.

I'll leave you with this, put at the top of my AsOnTV page in early 2015. Here I've added the link to the video of Nick, pioneering my ride in the police car 20 years earlier :-)
from 1996: an extract from GPSS on Put It To The Test broadcast on ITV then BBC1 TV nationwide. Or, the WMV version is here.

The "ASONTV" page of GPSS.co.uk lists TV broadcasts related to Robin's GPS Software.

Robin has also appeared on TV a number of times, related to his charity web site www.NHSCare.info, set up in 2003 to provide advice on obtaining free NHS long term care. He appeared on BBCTV's "The Politics Show", BBC News 24, and Sky TV.

However, Robin was rarely the "front man" in these broadcasts: others, far more eloquent, appeared in many more broadcasts, including Steve Squires, Derek Cole, Ian Perkins, Bleddyn Hancock, and Pam Coughlan herself.

Robin simply maintained the NHSCare.info web site, and put journalists in contact with the right spokesperson. A long list of publicity achieved, including BBC "Panorama", Radio 4 "Today", and front page national newspaper articles, appears on "What the media reports...", linked from near the top of www.NHSCare.info. <- See the front page to see why publicity might have affected the 2015 Election result - if we'd got it !

Robin on the BBC Politics Show in 2007 is on youtube here, or click on the [>] button on the right :-)

P.S. Here are some videos below, also mentioned in the "Bluebell" pages above ...

Vollney may enjoy my Klaus Page , being prepared for my German visitors in June 2016 :-)

Added on 12th October 2019: Here is link to Manic Victoria Ward Material moved from Snoopy's June 2019 Atlantic Attempt page.

Added on 14th June 2022 by Robin: One may debate if these two "Home" pages of Robin's www.gpss.co.uk are "Manic" but Robin stumbled on them, and found them both interesting, and was happy with the content. The first is before he was taken to Bluebell Ward ... ffindex1.htm "Home" page of www.gpss.co.uk on 10th April 2015 . The second was written and uploaded while he was inside Bluebell Ward: ffindex.htm "Home" page of www.gpss.co.uk on 3rd May 2015 2015 . I enjoyed checking them, and would not wish to change a word :-)

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© Robin Lovelock.